Social Sciences
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Grief Is Love: Living with Loss
A trusted grief expert shares what Kirkus Reviews praises as "calm, lucid prose… [a] humanizing exploration of coping with the life-changing tides of loss."
In Grief is Love, author Marisa Renee Lee reveals that healing does not mean moving on after losing a loved one-healing means learning to acknowledge and create space for your grief. It is about learning to love the one you lost with the same depth, passion, joy, and commitment you did when they were alive, perhaps even more. She guides you through the pain of grief-whether you've lost the person recently or long ago-and shows you what it looks like to honor your loss on your unique terms, and debunks the idea of a grief stages or timelines. Grief is Love is about making space for the transformation that a significant loss requires.
In beautiful, compassionate prose, Lee elegantly offers wisdom about what it means to authentically and defiantly claim space for grief's complicated feelings and emotions. And Lee is no stranger to grief herself, she shares her journey after losing her mother, a pregnancy, and, most recently, a cousin to the COVID-19 pandemic. These losses transformed her life and led her to question what grief really is and what healing actually looks like. In this book, she also explores the unique impact of grief on Black people and reveals the key factors that proper healing requires: permission, care, feeling, grace and more.
The transformation we each undergo after loss is the indelible imprint of the people we love on our lives, which is the true definition of legacy. At its core, Grief is Love explores what comes after death, and shows us that if we are able to own and honor what we've lost, we can experience a beautiful and joyful life in the midst of grief.
In Grief is Love, author Marisa Renee Lee reveals that healing does not mean moving on after losing a loved one-healing means learning to acknowledge and create space for your grief. It is about learning to love the one you lost with the same depth, passion, joy, and commitment you did when they were alive, perhaps even more. She guides you through the pain of grief-whether you've lost the person recently or long ago-and shows you what it looks like to honor your loss on your unique terms, and debunks the idea of a grief stages or timelines. Grief is Love is about making space for the transformation that a significant loss requires.
In beautiful, compassionate prose, Lee elegantly offers wisdom about what it means to authentically and defiantly claim space for grief's complicated feelings and emotions. And Lee is no stranger to grief herself, she shares her journey after losing her mother, a pregnancy, and, most recently, a cousin to the COVID-19 pandemic. These losses transformed her life and led her to question what grief really is and what healing actually looks like. In this book, she also explores the unique impact of grief on Black people and reveals the key factors that proper healing requires: permission, care, feeling, grace and more.
The transformation we each undergo after loss is the indelible imprint of the people we love on our lives, which is the true definition of legacy. At its core, Grief is Love explores what comes after death, and shows us that if we are able to own and honor what we've lost, we can experience a beautiful and joyful life in the midst of grief.
Editorial Reviews
"With calm, lucid prose… [a] humanizing exploration of coping with the life-changing tides of loss."―Kirkus
"Clearly written and accessible to many readers, this book adds a leader's personal voice to the growing body of work inviting us to grieve better."
―Booklist
"Marisa Renee Lee is the friend we all wish we had in times of need: compassionate, smart, understanding, and endlessly wise. Grief is Love is the closest many of us will get to understanding eternal love for another."―Elaine Welteroth, cohost of The Talk and New York Times bestselling author of More Than Enough
"Grief Is Love is what the world needs. Marisa's vulnerability humanizes pain, longing, and loss. Saying this book should be required reading is an understatement."―Alexandra Elle, author of After the Rain
"Authentic, all-inclusive, and utterly breathtaking, Grief is Love is the book that will help you deal with your darkest days and walks with you as you venture back into the light."―Willie Geist, cohost of The Today Show and New York Times bestselling author of Good Talk, Dad
"In Grief Is Love, Marisa Renee Lee has transformed her own profound losses into a powerful meditation on what grief is at its core: an extension of love. She invites us to reframe grief as an everlasting tribute, not as a burden, and her insights about healing will be a gift to countless readers. Losing a loved one is life-changing; this book will be life-changing for readers, too."
―Maggie Smith, National bestselling author of Keep Moving
"This is a beautiful memoir about the love that lasts after loss. With powerful prose and refreshing candor, Marisa Renee Lee challenges the cultural stigma around grief and highlights a healthier way to cope. If you're struggling with loss, reading this book might just be a jolt of hope."
―Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and Option B
"This book, like its author, radiates empathy, rejects platitudes, and uplifts even while interrogating life's darkest crevices. In examining her own experiences with life-changing loss, Marisa helps us recognize the gift of...
"Clearly written and accessible to many readers, this book adds a leader's personal voice to the growing body of work inviting us to grieve better."
―Booklist
"Marisa Renee Lee is the friend we all wish we had in times of need: compassionate, smart, understanding, and endlessly wise. Grief is Love is the closest many of us will get to understanding eternal love for another."―Elaine Welteroth, cohost of The Talk and New York Times bestselling author of More Than Enough
"Grief Is Love is what the world needs. Marisa's vulnerability humanizes pain, longing, and loss. Saying this book should be required reading is an understatement."―Alexandra Elle, author of After the Rain
"Authentic, all-inclusive, and utterly breathtaking, Grief is Love is the book that will help you deal with your darkest days and walks with you as you venture back into the light."―Willie Geist, cohost of The Today Show and New York Times bestselling author of Good Talk, Dad
"In Grief Is Love, Marisa Renee Lee has transformed her own profound losses into a powerful meditation on what grief is at its core: an extension of love. She invites us to reframe grief as an everlasting tribute, not as a burden, and her insights about healing will be a gift to countless readers. Losing a loved one is life-changing; this book will be life-changing for readers, too."
―Maggie Smith, National bestselling author of Keep Moving
"This is a beautiful memoir about the love that lasts after loss. With powerful prose and refreshing candor, Marisa Renee Lee challenges the cultural stigma around grief and highlights a healthier way to cope. If you're struggling with loss, reading this book might just be a jolt of hope."
―Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and Option B
"This book, like its author, radiates empathy, rejects platitudes, and uplifts even while interrogating life's darkest crevices. In examining her own experiences with life-changing loss, Marisa helps us recognize the gift of...
Readers Top Reviews
Sarah K PeckM Mun
"I was forced to start learning how to live without her," Lee writes, about losing her mother at age twenty-five. The author explores what it means to be so fundamentally changed when we lose people we love, and how impossible it seems to continue in your old patterns once you lose a person. "Losing my mother meant losing myself too. Who would I be without my mother?" I find myself seeking and searching for more writing on grief, on loss, and on navigating what it means to live the next chapter of your life. For me, as a new mother, living in Covid has meant a loss of a life I knew and sifting into the reality of what is. I find comfort in reading other people's stories, because it tells me that I am not alone. What I love most about this book is how Lee shines a light on what grief can look like, and all of the things that it IS. How grief affects our bodies, our brains, our emotions. How grief can show up as anger, frustration, even shame. How grief can linger and last forever, and how grief is not "tidy" and doesn't resolve itself according to anyone else's timelines. What this book makes space for, and why it's so important, is to talk about who gets to grieve and when we're allowed to grieve. In talking about how hard it can be to grieve—because it's so vulnerable, so all-encompassing, so hard—she reminds us that people need safety and space to grieve. That safety and space is often not afforded to Black women. To Black women and people of color, she says: your grief is real. Lee gives you permission to feel what you actually feel, and reminds us that grief can be disorienting, staggering, and unexpected. Sorrow is a companion to love, and these great holes in our hearts are related to just how much love we've had in our lifetime. I deeply appreciate her tenderness in talking about grief as it relates to love, and how your grief, whatever it looks like, is uniquely yours.
MI customer Sarah
Given as a gift for family member dealing with excessive grief. Upon her receiving it she called saying she had read 1/2 already and it was so relevant and helpful
Megan WatsonMI cu
I am fortunate in that I’ve not yet suffered big grief yet in my life. However, I find myself constantly worrying about losing a close loved one or friends. And I took away so much from this book. This book is much needed in the world. Marisa shares so much of herself, her story, and her life to demonstrate ways for navigating grief. She uses real-life examples and all the feelings of anger, hurt, sadness, and loss that go with losing someone. This isn’t a typical self help book in that it’s not repetitive or preachy. Marisa teaches us that grief does not go away and is not something that you ever “leave behind.” It’s something we carry with us always. I enjoyed how Marisa discusses how society deems certain emotions as “bad” and her discussion on how society makes us afraid to show certain emotions too much or for too long. And especially how this disproportionately affects Black women. This book made me feel more equipped to handle grief going forward, and to support loved ones who experience loss as well. CWs: racism, loss of parent, miscarriage, cancer, suicide thoughts/attempt
Sanzana ZamanMega
So much of what Marisa says resonates with my own experience before and after my father’s passing. She makes me feel like I’m on the receiving end of a knowing hug, a knowing smile. I completed this book in one sitting. Get yourself a copy!
maggiemay60Ricky
Sadly, the author couldn’t leave race out of grief. Pretty much by page 4, she was saying that black women have been suppressed for 200 years and that’s why she didn’t feel comfortable showing her grief. I didn’t know the author was black, never read her bio because that doesn’t or shouldn’t make a difference. Jessica Tarlov recommended the book, and after losing my mom 6 weeks ago I thought ok I’ll take her advice. I kept going into the book but by page 30, I’m done with it. I guess this book was not written for everyone’s grief. Wish I could return it.
