Growing Up & Facts of Life
![Chasten Buttigieg - [object Object] author](https://res.cloudinary.com/readsomnia/image/upload/authors/a_B088RL2PXT.jpg)
I Have Something to Tell You―For Young Adults: A Memoir
The young adult adaptation of the hopeful and refreshingly candid bestselling memoir by the husband of a former Democratic presidential candidate about growing up gay in his small Midwestern town. Completely rewritten with new stories, including resources for readers, parents, and teachers.
Growing up, Chasten Glezman Buttigieg didn't always fit in. He felt different from his father and brothers, who loved to hunt and go camping, and out of place in the rural, conservative small town where he lived. Back then, blending in was more important than feeling seen.
So, when Chasten realized he was gay, he kept that part of himself hidden away for a long, painful time. With incredible bravery, and the support of his loved ones, Chasten eventually came out-and when he did, he learned that being true to himself was the most rewarding journey of all.
Finding acceptance and self-love can seem like a tremendous challenge, but it's never impossible. With honesty, courage, and warmth, Chasten relays his experience of growing up in America and embracing his identity, while inspiring young people across the country to do the same.
Growing up, Chasten Glezman Buttigieg didn't always fit in. He felt different from his father and brothers, who loved to hunt and go camping, and out of place in the rural, conservative small town where he lived. Back then, blending in was more important than feeling seen.
So, when Chasten realized he was gay, he kept that part of himself hidden away for a long, painful time. With incredible bravery, and the support of his loved ones, Chasten eventually came out-and when he did, he learned that being true to himself was the most rewarding journey of all.
Finding acceptance and self-love can seem like a tremendous challenge, but it's never impossible. With honesty, courage, and warmth, Chasten relays his experience of growing up in America and embracing his identity, while inspiring young people across the country to do the same.
Editorial Reviews
"What a gift it is to walk alongside Chasten Buttigieg on his journey from small-town theater kid to political trailblazer. Buttigieg's story is heartfelt, specific, and entirely his own-but it's also a pitch-perfect snapshot of our rapidly shifting cultural landscape. It's a perfect juxtaposition of ordinary and extraordinary, told with humor, compassion, and unshakable hope."-Becky Albertalli, New York Times bestselling author of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda
"Chasten speaks to his readers as a trusted friend, reminding anyone who feels ‘different' that they are not alone, and that learning to love and embrace what makes us different may be the greatest gift we can give ourselves."-Dustin Lance Black, filmmaker and LGBTQ+ activist
"As I was reading this book, I couldn't help but think, ‘I wish I had had THIS when I was growing up!' Chasten reminds us that we are not alone, and that while choosing to live authentically can bring challenges, self-doubt and ‘hater-ade' from outside forces, it can also bring out the joy in life, pride in ourselves, and the love the world so badly needs more of.This book is a joyous and authentic gift to generations of young people. I wish I could have had this when I was growing up!"-Ariana DeBose, Academy Award–winning actress, dancer, and singer
"Unflinchingly honest and at the same time comforting, this memoir is an honest portrayal of finding not only acceptance in the world, but accepting one's self."-Kosoko Jackson, award-winning author of I'm So (Not) Over You
"Sharing our stories can encourage others to feel less alone, and Chasten tells his with courage and compassion, opening the door for younger generations to create and live in a more inclusive world."-Ellen DeGeneres, New York Times bestselling author of Seriously . . . I'm Kidding
"At times gut-wrenching and always honest, Chasten's story makes us laugh and root for ourselves in this profoundly personal yet necessary story about hope, inclusion, and allyship."-Billy Eichner, comedian, actor, producer, and screenwriter
"So many young people are going to see themselves reflected in Chasten's words, and feel held up to a warm light of love that might otherwise be missing from their community."-Ashley C. Ford, New York Times bestselling author of Somebody's Daughter: A Memoir
"I Have So...
"Chasten speaks to his readers as a trusted friend, reminding anyone who feels ‘different' that they are not alone, and that learning to love and embrace what makes us different may be the greatest gift we can give ourselves."-Dustin Lance Black, filmmaker and LGBTQ+ activist
"As I was reading this book, I couldn't help but think, ‘I wish I had had THIS when I was growing up!' Chasten reminds us that we are not alone, and that while choosing to live authentically can bring challenges, self-doubt and ‘hater-ade' from outside forces, it can also bring out the joy in life, pride in ourselves, and the love the world so badly needs more of.This book is a joyous and authentic gift to generations of young people. I wish I could have had this when I was growing up!"-Ariana DeBose, Academy Award–winning actress, dancer, and singer
"Unflinchingly honest and at the same time comforting, this memoir is an honest portrayal of finding not only acceptance in the world, but accepting one's self."-Kosoko Jackson, award-winning author of I'm So (Not) Over You
"Sharing our stories can encourage others to feel less alone, and Chasten tells his with courage and compassion, opening the door for younger generations to create and live in a more inclusive world."-Ellen DeGeneres, New York Times bestselling author of Seriously . . . I'm Kidding
"At times gut-wrenching and always honest, Chasten's story makes us laugh and root for ourselves in this profoundly personal yet necessary story about hope, inclusion, and allyship."-Billy Eichner, comedian, actor, producer, and screenwriter
"So many young people are going to see themselves reflected in Chasten's words, and feel held up to a warm light of love that might otherwise be missing from their community."-Ashley C. Ford, New York Times bestselling author of Somebody's Daughter: A Memoir
"I Have So...
Readers Top Reviews
A breezy, pleasant read that glosses over difficult family dynamics and a toxic political landscape. The cloying discussion questions at the end (why does Chasten refer to himself in the third person?) are unnecessary, as are the many photos (family members and friends are largely absent). Overall, Chasten’s worthwhile message that “it gets better” is marred by inconsistencies between his personal and professional story. Some details that emerged from Pete’s campaign are conveniently changed or ignored. Facts may not matter when it comes to political memoirs, but kids deserve the truth.
Geri Larkin
I just heard CB interviewed on The New Abnormal and immediately ordered this book because I was so moved by his common sense, courage, and compassion. As a 72 year old who still volunteers every week in a classroom of first graders, I can already see kids who will need allies-for all sorts of reasons. I vow to be one of them.
Short Excerpt Teaser
Chapter 1: There Are No Sharks in Lake Michigan
1 There Are No Sharks in Lake Michigan
When I was a kid, teachers used to tell my parents that I was "special" or "unique." At parent-teacher conferences, they'd say things like, "Well, he sure is… eccentric" or "You know, he's just not like the other boys." I thought these comments were a good thing, and seeing as I never heard these words used to describe my two older brothers, they built up my confidence. Then, around middle school, I began to realize that in addition to being creative, getting good grades, and having a knack for making people laugh, I was also gay.
Once I started to put the pieces of my identity together, a battle broke out in my head. What I had been taught about gay people from a young age, what kids my age were saying about gay people, and what I felt in my heart began fighting and tearing me apart.
I was told being gay was a choice, a sin, and an embarrassment. Of course these things aren't true, but younger Chasten didn't know that. Back then, the outside world was telling me otherwise, and I spent years believing there was no future in store for me. Childhood was fairly sunny and easy. However, once this piece of my identity became clearer, hiding it felt like concealing a giant, glittered, fanged beast inside my stomach. One simple slip and the beast would come tearing through my guts, flop onto the floor in front of the classroom, and shout, HE'S GAAAAAAAY! as the entire classroom pointed and laughed in the most humiliating way. In order to keep the beast quiet, I paid very close attention to the way I walked, talked, and acted, because the world just wasn't ready to accept LGBTQ+ people as equals (yet).
My parents had always encouraged me to be myself, but I knew that meant the version of myself that fit the norm. At the time, growing up in a politically and religiously conservative place like Northern Michigan meant that being straight was the only thing you could openly and safely identify as. There wasn't much room for difference. A lot of people back then (and, sadly, some people to this day) believe that being gay is a choice and that all LGBTQ+ people deserve to be mocked, harmed, or worse. Some politicians still use harmful tropes to advocate against protections for LGBTQ+ people.
I knew that being gay meant I'd rather have a boyfriend than a girlfriend. Other than that, I was confused as to why the world thought that made me so different from everyone else, but I didn't have anyone I could talk to about it. I didn't have any gay role models, I never saw myself reflected in the characters I read about in books, and there weren't many characters in movies or television shows living a happy, gay life.
In 1998, when I was nine years old and just starting to understand what these questions swirling around in my head meant, a show called Will & Grace aired on television. It featured two gay characters navigating work, life, and love in New York City. Not only did it show me for the first time that there were other people like me out there, but the show had a huge audience! Sure, it had its fair share of backlash for featuring gay people, but the show was winning awards and receiving good ratings. I remember my fear of laughing too enthusiastically whenever actor Sean Hayes's hilarious, very outrageous character, Jack, dramatically and loudly entered the room. If anyone heard how happy the show made me, would they think I was gay? The few times I did watch the show in front of my family, it was both torture and therapy. I loved seeing someone "like me" on TV, but I was nervous for anyone to notice that I loved it. I wished that I could live somewhere like New York City, where it would be okay to be like someone on Will & Grace, where I could find friends who would be kind to someone "like that."
Then, in 2003, comedian Ellen DeGeneres started her own talk show, Ellen. A few years earlier in 1997, DeGeneres came out as gay. The show she was starring in at the time was promptly canceled, and Ellen struggled to find any work in Hollywood, just because she'd had the courage to come "out of the closet." Eventually, she was given her own talk show, but she wasn't allowed to talk about her partner or being gay at all. She was even advised not to wear jeans because they could make her "look gay." How exhausting!
Ellen's show was always on when I came home from school, and watching her make my mom laugh hinted to me that there might be a future where all LGBTQ+ people ...
1 There Are No Sharks in Lake Michigan
When I was a kid, teachers used to tell my parents that I was "special" or "unique." At parent-teacher conferences, they'd say things like, "Well, he sure is… eccentric" or "You know, he's just not like the other boys." I thought these comments were a good thing, and seeing as I never heard these words used to describe my two older brothers, they built up my confidence. Then, around middle school, I began to realize that in addition to being creative, getting good grades, and having a knack for making people laugh, I was also gay.
Once I started to put the pieces of my identity together, a battle broke out in my head. What I had been taught about gay people from a young age, what kids my age were saying about gay people, and what I felt in my heart began fighting and tearing me apart.
I was told being gay was a choice, a sin, and an embarrassment. Of course these things aren't true, but younger Chasten didn't know that. Back then, the outside world was telling me otherwise, and I spent years believing there was no future in store for me. Childhood was fairly sunny and easy. However, once this piece of my identity became clearer, hiding it felt like concealing a giant, glittered, fanged beast inside my stomach. One simple slip and the beast would come tearing through my guts, flop onto the floor in front of the classroom, and shout, HE'S GAAAAAAAY! as the entire classroom pointed and laughed in the most humiliating way. In order to keep the beast quiet, I paid very close attention to the way I walked, talked, and acted, because the world just wasn't ready to accept LGBTQ+ people as equals (yet).
My parents had always encouraged me to be myself, but I knew that meant the version of myself that fit the norm. At the time, growing up in a politically and religiously conservative place like Northern Michigan meant that being straight was the only thing you could openly and safely identify as. There wasn't much room for difference. A lot of people back then (and, sadly, some people to this day) believe that being gay is a choice and that all LGBTQ+ people deserve to be mocked, harmed, or worse. Some politicians still use harmful tropes to advocate against protections for LGBTQ+ people.
I knew that being gay meant I'd rather have a boyfriend than a girlfriend. Other than that, I was confused as to why the world thought that made me so different from everyone else, but I didn't have anyone I could talk to about it. I didn't have any gay role models, I never saw myself reflected in the characters I read about in books, and there weren't many characters in movies or television shows living a happy, gay life.
In 1998, when I was nine years old and just starting to understand what these questions swirling around in my head meant, a show called Will & Grace aired on television. It featured two gay characters navigating work, life, and love in New York City. Not only did it show me for the first time that there were other people like me out there, but the show had a huge audience! Sure, it had its fair share of backlash for featuring gay people, but the show was winning awards and receiving good ratings. I remember my fear of laughing too enthusiastically whenever actor Sean Hayes's hilarious, very outrageous character, Jack, dramatically and loudly entered the room. If anyone heard how happy the show made me, would they think I was gay? The few times I did watch the show in front of my family, it was both torture and therapy. I loved seeing someone "like me" on TV, but I was nervous for anyone to notice that I loved it. I wished that I could live somewhere like New York City, where it would be okay to be like someone on Will & Grace, where I could find friends who would be kind to someone "like that."
Then, in 2003, comedian Ellen DeGeneres started her own talk show, Ellen. A few years earlier in 1997, DeGeneres came out as gay. The show she was starring in at the time was promptly canceled, and Ellen struggled to find any work in Hollywood, just because she'd had the courage to come "out of the closet." Eventually, she was given her own talk show, but she wasn't allowed to talk about her partner or being gay at all. She was even advised not to wear jeans because they could make her "look gay." How exhausting!
Ellen's show was always on when I came home from school, and watching her make my mom laugh hinted to me that there might be a future where all LGBTQ+ people ...
