Monogamy: A Novel

When the larger-than-life bookshop owning Graham dies, his second wife, photographer Annie, discovers that her much-loved husband has been involved in an affair. It is true that they’d never made a point of promising to be totally faithful to one another (in fact Graham, as a ‘child of the sixties’, actually indulged in an open marriage of sorts with his first wife Frieda); however, as Graham had always told Annie how much he loved her and was aware that his previous infidelities caused the break up of his first marriage, Annie believed that Graham would never be unfaithful to her. Feeling shocked and hurt, Annie is even more hurt when she discovers that Frieda knew about the affair after Graham confessed it to her, and as Annie and Frieda have become close over the years, she feels doubly betrayed. Trying to make sense of what has happened and struggling to adjust to life without the man who was such a huge presence in her life, Annie finds herself questioning her relationship with her husband. Why did Graham, who'd remained particularly close to his first wife, confess the affair to Frieda? Who was Graham really? Did he really love her? And what would have happened to their marriage if he hadn’t died? This well-written novel, which looks at marriage, monogamy (or the lack of it), family, friendship and grief, is one that from the synopsis I thought I’d very much enjoy. However, although I enjoyed the author’s descriptions of Annie's and Graham’s life, of their family home and particularly of Graham’s bookshop, I just couldn’t warm to them as people - the larger-than-life Graham, supposedly so generous, but who had difficulty remaining faithful and who put his own needs before others; and Annie, somewhat cool and remote and whose lack of understanding towards her daughter sadly led to them having a dysfunctional relationship - and although I sympathised with Annie in her predicament, I found it rather difficult to really care about her and what was going to happen to her, which was a shame. I also found the close relationship that both Graham and Annie had with Frieda a little odd. All of this made it difficult for me to rate this novel by Amazon’s star rating, and as I read this a couple of weeks ago and forgot to write a review (which says something about my lack of involvement with the story) and, writing this now, I have difficulty remembering a huge amount about it (which says even more) I feel it has to be a three star rating. So, a well-written novel which looks at some interesting issues, but not a hugely satisfying read and not one I feel I would really recommend. 3 Stars.

The plot is thin, almost skeletal. The storyline has a measured tempo. And yet, it’s an intense, often tortuous account of a marriage. Our main characters, Graham and Annie are married about thirty years. It’s an emotional marriage. Graham is a multi-faceted, glorious character; he is filled with outrageous energy, intelligence, and he is totally demonstrative with his emotions. Both characters had a previous marriage, ending in divorce. However, Frieda, Graham’s first wife remains part of their life with their son, Lucas. Annie is welcoming and involved with both We are introduced to Graham as this larger-than-life bookstore owner who is outgoing, clever and friendly. Annie is more circumspect and patient – sometimes distant. Both Annie and he had difficult childhoods, Graham’s was wretched and one can believe his need to belong. Married, they live in a humble home in a wealthy neighborhood. They are about the arts: visual and written. Annie is a photographer and Graham is surrounded with his knowledge of books and music. We are introduced to this mismatched couple by their size; Annie is a petite woman, Graham is large (fat, actually) with a voracious appetite. In scene after scene, Miller has someone drinking wine, in good times and bad. There always seems to be an inventory of wine. Graham is older but he dies at only sixty-five. Miller’s description of his death prepares the reader for the stages of grief, some familiar, some heartbreaking and surprising. Perspective is within each as the novel moves along. Sarah is Annie and Graham’s daughter, a big girl with a wonderful speaking voice. She and Lucas are thoughtful to both Frieda and Annie telling us they have been loved and shown how to treat family and friends. It was gratifying. Miller also gave me information that is usually missing from most novels. Towards the end of the novel, Annie inherits $50,000 from a neighbor to take of her cat and she received $200,000 from Graham’s life insurance policy. It made the story more real. I always have wondered in many stories; how much money is there? Can she/he live on it for a few years? These numbers made her widowhood more tangible knowing the only existence is not mourning and grief. There was an especially unusual flashback of sorts. As a young girl in Chicago, Annie was friendly with Sofie Kahn, now a professional cellist. She recalls the stark contrast between Sofie's mother, who survived WWII, with her mother who was insular and selfish. I was surprised Miller did not have Annie reconnect with Sofie. One might think this is a familiar plot, the odyssey of a marriage, with or without extra-marital affairs, but Miller’s skill makes it real; long relationships are complex and often thorny.

Graham and Annie are the long-married golden couple in their wide circle of friends. They are known for their lavish parties, where the wine and conversation flowed easily. Graham is a big-hearted, gregarious bookseller with an even bigger personality and zest for life. Annie is quieter and more reserved, the quintessential hostess and also a photographer. Both were married before. Lucas is Graham’s son from his marriage to Frieda, and Sarah is Graham and Annie’s daughter. The reader is given access to the rich inner lives of each of these characters as they grapple with marriage, infidelity, grief, loss and friendship. Miller writes well, but I was surprised by some crass depictions. She mines the complexities of infidelity and grief with a deft touch, and successfully captures all the subtle shades and nuances involved. The environments are meticulously described, and I could visualize the scenes. It reads much like a play, and it is easy to get carried along in the mundane and complicated lives of these people. And yet, the characters of Graham and Annie did not always resonate with me. Was Graham charming or self-indulgent? His large appetite for “more” seemed to try to excuse or exonerate his penchant for cheating. Annie too, seemed easily swayed and distracted by the attentions of another man. Rarely have I read a novel where the main characters are the ones that I liked least. I found Frieda and Sarah far more interesting. Each had depth, empathy and genuine emotional pathos, and yet these characters had secondary roles. This is a quiet, introspective and intimate glimpse into a marriage and a family.