Reference
Words, Language & Grammar
![Samara Bay - [object Object] author](https://res.cloudinary.com/readsomnia/image/upload/authors/a_B0B4GHMTDN.jpg)
Permission to Speak: How to Change What Power Sounds Like, Starting with You
Use your voice to lead us to a better future with this game-changing guide to redefining what power and authority sound like-from a speech expert who's worked with Hollywood's biggest stars, political powerhouses, and businesspeople shaking up the status quo.
"I love this book-funny, surprising, stirring, and so important! What a beautiful accomplishment and gift to put into the world."-Rachel McAdams
Getting heard is a tricky business: It's what you say and how you show up, filtered through your audience's assumptions and biases-and maybe even your own. For women, people of color, immigrants, and queer folks, there's often a dissonance between how you speak and how we collectively think powerful people should speak: like the wealthy white men who've historically been in charge. But, fortunately, the sound of power is changing.
Permission to Speak is your tool kit for making that change. In this revolutionary take on how to use your voice to get what you want, sought-after speech coach Samara Bay offers a fresh perspective on public speaking and a new definition of what power sounds like: namely, you. Blending anecdotes with eye-opening research in leadership, linguistics, and social science, Permission to Speak shows you how to strike the right balance of strength and warmth to land your message; exactly what to do before a high-stakes scenario so that your voice, your mind, and your spirit are ready; and how to turn habits like vocal fry and upspeak into tools. Most important, you'll discover your voice story: why you talk the way you do, what's wonderful about it, and what you've outgrown.
Fiery, fun, and truly profound, Permission to Speak is a personal and cultural reckoning with what speaking in public is and what it can be. This book meets the moment and offers this provocation: When we change what power sounds like, we change who has it.
"I love this book-funny, surprising, stirring, and so important! What a beautiful accomplishment and gift to put into the world."-Rachel McAdams
Getting heard is a tricky business: It's what you say and how you show up, filtered through your audience's assumptions and biases-and maybe even your own. For women, people of color, immigrants, and queer folks, there's often a dissonance between how you speak and how we collectively think powerful people should speak: like the wealthy white men who've historically been in charge. But, fortunately, the sound of power is changing.
Permission to Speak is your tool kit for making that change. In this revolutionary take on how to use your voice to get what you want, sought-after speech coach Samara Bay offers a fresh perspective on public speaking and a new definition of what power sounds like: namely, you. Blending anecdotes with eye-opening research in leadership, linguistics, and social science, Permission to Speak shows you how to strike the right balance of strength and warmth to land your message; exactly what to do before a high-stakes scenario so that your voice, your mind, and your spirit are ready; and how to turn habits like vocal fry and upspeak into tools. Most important, you'll discover your voice story: why you talk the way you do, what's wonderful about it, and what you've outgrown.
Fiery, fun, and truly profound, Permission to Speak is a personal and cultural reckoning with what speaking in public is and what it can be. This book meets the moment and offers this provocation: When we change what power sounds like, we change who has it.
Editorial Reviews
"Samara Bay-the speech coach who's helped Ruth Negga, Gal Gadot, and others perfect dialects on film-offers an empowering take on public speaking."-Vanity Fair
"A totally beguiling and richly informative primer for anyone who struggles to say out loud what they think."-Soraya Chemaly, author of Rage Becomes Her
"Permission to Speak goes beyond the easy ‘use your voice' platitudes that power hashtag-girlboss memes. . . .The book never shies away from frank talk about the ways systems of oppression have squelched and silenced some voices, and at every turn, [Samara] Bay offers practical and doable exercises. . . . Bay writes with humor and ease, sharing stories from her own experience and those of her clients."-Mindful
"No one knows more about voice than Samara Bay. This is a brilliant, user-friendly guide to speaking up. I love it."-Viv Groskop, author of How to Own the Room
"Women, people of color, and other historically excluded folks are taught not to be too big, too loud, too demanding, or too ambitious. This book gives them permission to speak up-and command the room."-Rachel Rodgers, author of We Should All Be Millionaires
"Samara Bay's brilliant expertise helps us understand that when we find our permission to speak, we are able to step into our full power as women. She encourages us to abandon our formed habits, which are almost always serving someone else, and shows us what it means to use our narratives to be heroes who change the way we are heard in the world."-Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play
"Permission to Speak is bursting with charm and originality, clear-eyed critiques, and gentle nudges, like the greatest business bestie in your ear, whispering the courage you need to speak up and take over."-Carolyn Childers, co-founder and CEO of Chief, and Lindsay Kaplan, co-founder and chief brand officer of Chief
"An encouraging, practical guide to public speaking . . . A generous companion for buildi...
"A totally beguiling and richly informative primer for anyone who struggles to say out loud what they think."-Soraya Chemaly, author of Rage Becomes Her
"Permission to Speak goes beyond the easy ‘use your voice' platitudes that power hashtag-girlboss memes. . . .The book never shies away from frank talk about the ways systems of oppression have squelched and silenced some voices, and at every turn, [Samara] Bay offers practical and doable exercises. . . . Bay writes with humor and ease, sharing stories from her own experience and those of her clients."-Mindful
"No one knows more about voice than Samara Bay. This is a brilliant, user-friendly guide to speaking up. I love it."-Viv Groskop, author of How to Own the Room
"Women, people of color, and other historically excluded folks are taught not to be too big, too loud, too demanding, or too ambitious. This book gives them permission to speak up-and command the room."-Rachel Rodgers, author of We Should All Be Millionaires
"Samara Bay's brilliant expertise helps us understand that when we find our permission to speak, we are able to step into our full power as women. She encourages us to abandon our formed habits, which are almost always serving someone else, and shows us what it means to use our narratives to be heroes who change the way we are heard in the world."-Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play
"Permission to Speak is bursting with charm and originality, clear-eyed critiques, and gentle nudges, like the greatest business bestie in your ear, whispering the courage you need to speak up and take over."-Carolyn Childers, co-founder and CEO of Chief, and Lindsay Kaplan, co-founder and chief brand officer of Chief
"An encouraging, practical guide to public speaking . . . A generous companion for buildi...
Readers Top Reviews
MonicaLouise Foer
I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking to improve their ability to speak up for themselves whether for business or in the public speaking realm. The author gave some great tips and tricks to help anyone find their voice and speak from their heart. As a shy person I do find it difficult to be able to speak in front of large crowds and make it meaningful and not robotic. This book helped me see that I have to own my speech and that I don't have to lower my tone to make myself sound more like a man to be heard. There were many great examples and reasons behind each technique. The book was broken down into 8 chapters, each delving into the aspects of speech. Many of the chapters had examples of what to do to improve that aspect of speech. For example in the Breath chapter there were techniques to improve your breathing. My only critique was that it did get a little wordy at times. (I know that may sound a little ironic.) Overall, I think this book was very helpful and the next time I have to do a presentation or officiate a ceremony for my school I plan on using many of these techniques.
Rebecca BartMonic
This is nothing short of essential reading. An actual game changer. The book is a revolutionary approach to voice and culture and power. How has this insight and guidance not existed until now? Just wow.
Katharine HirstRe
Samara Bay's book is a powerful, enjoyable read. I couldn't recommend it more highly. You will like yourself better, stand a little taller, feel a little braver and get a loving kick in the butt to use your voice for good. This book is going to kickstart a long overdue revolution in how we think about and use our voices - and how we listen to others.
KristinKristinKat
I have a keynote presentation that I’m delivering tomorrow and to say this book is right on time would be the understatement of the century. The pages of this book are both revelation and revolution and I FINALLY feel like I’m going to be speaking publicly (on stages, in meetings, on calls, etc.) in a way that’s truly authentic to who I am. This book will change your life — I know it changed mine!
StephanieKristinK
Every once in a while a book shows up in the exact moment we need it most. I devoured these pages over the past few days. As a female physician and mentor I have spent so much time learning to access my voice and trying to help young women in science speak up. This book will be one of my top recommendations moving forward. Bay's writing is funny, relatable, vulnerable and an invitation. Curl up with this delightful read and remind yourself what your voice sounds like.
Short Excerpt Teaser
1
Breath
I am willing to be seen.
I am willing to speak up.
I am willing to keep going.
I am willing to listen to what others have to say.
I am willing to go forward even when I feel alone.
I am willing to go to bed each night at peace with myself.
I am willing to be my biggest, bestest, most powerful self.
These seven statements scare the absolute shit out of me. But I know that they are at the crux of it all.
-Emma Watson
Hold on a second and just breathe. There's the regular ol' in-and-out rhythm that prevails while we sleep or perform mundane tasks; maybe you feel it now. And then there's the sort of breath that accompanies moments of true surprise in our lives-a warm touch, a punch line, the unexpected sighting of a friend. The rhythm changes and we take in more air than usual. It's an instinctive response to what's new and original. It's the moment I read aloud the pregnancy test pamphlet to my husband to figure out the symbol on the little stick-and stopped mid-word with a gasp. It's the shaky sigh that followed, full of possibility and pure vulnerability. This breath is life on the move.
But breath is something else too. For almost a decade, "I can't breathe" has been a rallying cry against the policing of Black bodies, a reminder of how easily a delicate windpipe-or a human-can be mishandled. And when the coronavirus hit, desperate cries for breath resounded in hospitals around the world, in every language humans speak. In order to avoid getting sick we locked ourselves away from others and covered our noses and mouths to literally keep our breath to ourselves. Gathering in a public space, mingling our aspirations and inspirations together, had become dangerous. That very first weekend of the lockdown in the United States, I remember sitting up in bed reading everything I could. Hyperventilating. Thinking, My God, sharing breath might now mean death.
Against this backdrop, it's no small thing to start to notice your own breath, in trivial moments as well as in moments that scare the absolute shit out of you. Breathing is the easiest thing to do; it sort of just happens, like blinking. And breathing is the hardest thing to do when you're taking a risk, when that in-breath is preparing to let a feeling or an idea from inside of you out, and the outcome is uncertain.
But in a way, sharing these breaths in public has always been dangerous. For those of us with fresh perspectives who are inevitably drawn to question conventions, the public has never entirely welcomed our feelings or ideas. We've been threatened and discredited and ignored. We've lost our jobs and been tried as witches. We've not been believed. For anyone outside traditional positions of power, to take a deep breath and speak requires undoing thousands of years of messaging about who gets to have a voice in public and how they get to sound. There's a whole mythology to reckon with.
Because here's the deal: when you take a real and full breath, air from outside your body is sucked in and then emerges a fraction of a second later as you-as your hopes and dreams, your furies and joys. Your demands. Of course we each need air simply to stay alive, but we each need air to activate our furies and joys as well, and we must activate them if we want to change the story-it's how we reshape the mythology about who gets to speak in public and how they get to sound. It's how we become our own new heroes. My dream for you is that when the stakes are enormously high, you step into the moment ready to breathe deeply and let yourself out.
But sometimes we find ourselves in rooms where we are the only one-the only member of our race, or the queer community, the only woman, only person in a wheelchair, only one wearing flashy colors or secondhand clothing or visibly pregnant or speaking with a different accent or willing to lose money to do what's right. Sometimes we find ourselves in an arena that's not designed for us to conquer, as Black Lives Matter activist Tamika Mallory says. That's when we feel the deep desire to shrink or hide our difference, and a great way to accomplish this disappearing act is to stop taking real breaths.
But sometimes that room is due for a renovation-and maybe you're feeling up for blueprinting the new design. I've seen it over and over, with the clients I've coached, with outsiders on big stages everywhere: we are ambitious and bold, on a mission and powered by purpose, primed to conquer the world. But then we get up in front of those whose lapels we are so ready to grab, and . . . we hold our breath, forcing air through a constricted throat that's trying to both let us out and keep us in. We spea...
Breath
I am willing to be seen.
I am willing to speak up.
I am willing to keep going.
I am willing to listen to what others have to say.
I am willing to go forward even when I feel alone.
I am willing to go to bed each night at peace with myself.
I am willing to be my biggest, bestest, most powerful self.
These seven statements scare the absolute shit out of me. But I know that they are at the crux of it all.
-Emma Watson
Hold on a second and just breathe. There's the regular ol' in-and-out rhythm that prevails while we sleep or perform mundane tasks; maybe you feel it now. And then there's the sort of breath that accompanies moments of true surprise in our lives-a warm touch, a punch line, the unexpected sighting of a friend. The rhythm changes and we take in more air than usual. It's an instinctive response to what's new and original. It's the moment I read aloud the pregnancy test pamphlet to my husband to figure out the symbol on the little stick-and stopped mid-word with a gasp. It's the shaky sigh that followed, full of possibility and pure vulnerability. This breath is life on the move.
But breath is something else too. For almost a decade, "I can't breathe" has been a rallying cry against the policing of Black bodies, a reminder of how easily a delicate windpipe-or a human-can be mishandled. And when the coronavirus hit, desperate cries for breath resounded in hospitals around the world, in every language humans speak. In order to avoid getting sick we locked ourselves away from others and covered our noses and mouths to literally keep our breath to ourselves. Gathering in a public space, mingling our aspirations and inspirations together, had become dangerous. That very first weekend of the lockdown in the United States, I remember sitting up in bed reading everything I could. Hyperventilating. Thinking, My God, sharing breath might now mean death.
Against this backdrop, it's no small thing to start to notice your own breath, in trivial moments as well as in moments that scare the absolute shit out of you. Breathing is the easiest thing to do; it sort of just happens, like blinking. And breathing is the hardest thing to do when you're taking a risk, when that in-breath is preparing to let a feeling or an idea from inside of you out, and the outcome is uncertain.
But in a way, sharing these breaths in public has always been dangerous. For those of us with fresh perspectives who are inevitably drawn to question conventions, the public has never entirely welcomed our feelings or ideas. We've been threatened and discredited and ignored. We've lost our jobs and been tried as witches. We've not been believed. For anyone outside traditional positions of power, to take a deep breath and speak requires undoing thousands of years of messaging about who gets to have a voice in public and how they get to sound. There's a whole mythology to reckon with.
Because here's the deal: when you take a real and full breath, air from outside your body is sucked in and then emerges a fraction of a second later as you-as your hopes and dreams, your furies and joys. Your demands. Of course we each need air simply to stay alive, but we each need air to activate our furies and joys as well, and we must activate them if we want to change the story-it's how we reshape the mythology about who gets to speak in public and how they get to sound. It's how we become our own new heroes. My dream for you is that when the stakes are enormously high, you step into the moment ready to breathe deeply and let yourself out.
But sometimes we find ourselves in rooms where we are the only one-the only member of our race, or the queer community, the only woman, only person in a wheelchair, only one wearing flashy colors or secondhand clothing or visibly pregnant or speaking with a different accent or willing to lose money to do what's right. Sometimes we find ourselves in an arena that's not designed for us to conquer, as Black Lives Matter activist Tamika Mallory says. That's when we feel the deep desire to shrink or hide our difference, and a great way to accomplish this disappearing act is to stop taking real breaths.
But sometimes that room is due for a renovation-and maybe you're feeling up for blueprinting the new design. I've seen it over and over, with the clients I've coached, with outsiders on big stages everywhere: we are ambitious and bold, on a mission and powered by purpose, primed to conquer the world. But then we get up in front of those whose lapels we are so ready to grab, and . . . we hold our breath, forcing air through a constricted throat that's trying to both let us out and keep us in. We spea...
