Business Culture
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The Gift of Influence: Creating Life-Changing and Lasting Impact in Your Everyday Interactions
From the New York Times bestselling author of The Heart-Led Leader comes an empowering manifesto on how to use influence to "make a real difference in the lives of those you interact with at work, in your home, and wherever you may roam" (Ken Blanchard, co-author of The One Minute Manager)
"Tommy Spaulding has such a profound gift for storytelling and for collecting wonderful people and experiences."-Liz Wiseman, author of Multipliers
Researchers estimate that the average person will influence up to eighty thousand people over the course of their lifetime-or 2.8 people daily. That's a stadium full of people each of us affects in ways positive or negative, sometimes without our realizing. What if we paid attention to this fact? Would we live differently? Would we lead differently? Would we put down our phones and be more present with the people in front of us?
Tommy Spaulding believes the answer is yes. In this compelling and deeply personal book, Spaulding explores how we can be more mindful and effective in wielding the influence that each of us has over others-in our careers, our everyday interactions, and the relationships we cultivate throughout our lives. Sharing stories from exceptional leaders-from entrepreneurs who have made an impact far beyond their businesses to a teacher who changed the lives of thirty-six students with a simple classroom lesson-Spaulding gives us a simple recipe for leading a life that matters, including
• the power of asking "What's your story?"
• the secret to turning transactions into true interactions
• showing up meaningfully for people in need instead of saying "Let me know how I can help."
For business leaders, educators, parents-everyone who works with people-The Gift of Influence is an essential read on the daily actions that add up to a meaningful life.
"Tommy Spaulding has such a profound gift for storytelling and for collecting wonderful people and experiences."-Liz Wiseman, author of Multipliers
Researchers estimate that the average person will influence up to eighty thousand people over the course of their lifetime-or 2.8 people daily. That's a stadium full of people each of us affects in ways positive or negative, sometimes without our realizing. What if we paid attention to this fact? Would we live differently? Would we lead differently? Would we put down our phones and be more present with the people in front of us?
Tommy Spaulding believes the answer is yes. In this compelling and deeply personal book, Spaulding explores how we can be more mindful and effective in wielding the influence that each of us has over others-in our careers, our everyday interactions, and the relationships we cultivate throughout our lives. Sharing stories from exceptional leaders-from entrepreneurs who have made an impact far beyond their businesses to a teacher who changed the lives of thirty-six students with a simple classroom lesson-Spaulding gives us a simple recipe for leading a life that matters, including
• the power of asking "What's your story?"
• the secret to turning transactions into true interactions
• showing up meaningfully for people in need instead of saying "Let me know how I can help."
For business leaders, educators, parents-everyone who works with people-The Gift of Influence is an essential read on the daily actions that add up to a meaningful life.
Editorial Reviews
"I'm a raving fan of Tommy Spaulding. He's one of the top leadership thinkers in the world. The Gift of Influence will help you make a real difference in the lives of those you interact with at work, in your home, and wherever you may roam."-Ken Blanchard, New York Times bestselling co-author of The One Minute Manager
"Tommy Spaulding has such a profound gift for storytelling and for collecting wonderful people and experiences. The Gift of Influence will inspire you to create ripples of positive impact and enable you to lead in a new, powerful way."-Liz Wiseman, New York Times bestselling author of Multipliers
"The Gift of Influence inspires us to become better leaders and better human beings. It teaches us that we have the greatest power in the universe: the power to impact the lives of others."-Jon Gordon, New York Times bestselling author of The Energy Bus
"Tommy Spaulding has become one of America's greatest storytellers. I laughed and cried all the way through. I will forever lead and love differently because of the powerful message in this book."-Kelli Valade, president and CEO of Denny's
"A moving book about what it really means to make a difference in another person's life . . . Tommy Spaulding might just inspire you to think more broadly and deeply about your impact."-Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and host of the TED podcast WorkLife
"Most people don't appreciate their influence. Tommy Spaulding masterfully reminds us that we impact every person we interact with every day. In this powerful book, he teaches us how to unleash our influence for good in the world."-Matthew Kelly, New York Times bestselling author of The Dream Manager
"Tommy Spaulding has such a profound gift for storytelling and for collecting wonderful people and experiences. The Gift of Influence will inspire you to create ripples of positive impact and enable you to lead in a new, powerful way."-Liz Wiseman, New York Times bestselling author of Multipliers
"The Gift of Influence inspires us to become better leaders and better human beings. It teaches us that we have the greatest power in the universe: the power to impact the lives of others."-Jon Gordon, New York Times bestselling author of The Energy Bus
"Tommy Spaulding has become one of America's greatest storytellers. I laughed and cried all the way through. I will forever lead and love differently because of the powerful message in this book."-Kelli Valade, president and CEO of Denny's
"A moving book about what it really means to make a difference in another person's life . . . Tommy Spaulding might just inspire you to think more broadly and deeply about your impact."-Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and host of the TED podcast WorkLife
"Most people don't appreciate their influence. Tommy Spaulding masterfully reminds us that we impact every person we interact with every day. In this powerful book, he teaches us how to unleash our influence for good in the world."-Matthew Kelly, New York Times bestselling author of The Dream Manager
Short Excerpt Teaser
PART I
Influencers LEAD
Lift: Thirty-six Pieces of Paper
Have you ever heard an unforgettable story-one that you can't stop thinking about for days, months, or even years? These kinds of stories aren't just heartwarming; they make us fundamentally rethink our assumptions. They change the way we see and treat other people. They change the way we live and lead.
I am about to tell you one of those stories. When I heard it for the first time, everything seemed to go still, as if time itself had slowed its relentless march just to ensure I heard about a junior high school teacher named Ms. Lynn. With one simple class exercise on a bright spring day, she taught a roomful of eighth graders that no matter how alone they might feel, however dark and cold life may get, they are loved.
There isn't a Hollywood movie about Ms. Lynn. I guarantee you've never heard of her. But Ms. Lynn's story moved me more than any other movie or book ever has because it beautifully illustrates the simple and awesome power of lifting others up. That, at its heart, is what influence is all about. It's not telling people how great they are; it's showing them how great they are. Lifting others up means identifying moments-no matter how insignificant they may seem-to show them that they matter.
After you read about Ms. Lynn, I challenge you to slow down. Slow down as you live your day-to-day life. Slow down as you interact with your co-workers, slow down when you have dinner with your family, slow down when you're ordering food at a restaurant. Slow down and be aware of the people around you and ask yourself: How can I lift them up, even just a little bit?
On a warm and sunny Friday in March 1962, a thirty-year-old teacher named Ms. Lynn walked into her eighth grade math class. It was the last period of the day before spring break officially began, and Ms. Lynn took a moment to read the energy of the room.
Now, imagine you're back in eighth grade. Your mind isn't too focused on geometry to begin with. But at three o'clock on the first beautiful afternoon after a long, cold winter? Only fifty minutes before the beginning of a weeklong vacation? Forget it.
Ms. Lynn watched two boys having a wrestling match and three girls passing notes in the third row. In the corner was a girl rubbing her puffy red eyes. Her name was Betty, and Ms. Lynn knew her parents were in the middle of a divorce. The rest of the class gazed anxiously out the window, hoping to enjoy a brief glimpse of spring. She looked down at her lesson plan: the Pythagorean theorem. There was no way the class would be absorbing A2+B2=C2 and why it was important to calculate the hypotenuse of a right triangle. Most teachers would plow ahead with the lesson anyway. But Ms. Lynn wasn't like most teachers.
After settling down the wrestlers and telling the girls to put their notes away, she removed a page from a three-ring binder and held it up to the class. "See this piece of paper? This is my lesson plan for today." Thirty-six pairs of eyes stared at it blankly, and then back out the window. With a slight smile, Ms. Lynn tore it up and tossed the fragments into the trash. The class erupted into applause. Even Betty, still fighting back tears, had a little smile on her face.
"Here's what we are going to do today," Ms. Lynn continued. "Everyone take out a piece of paper and a pencil." She had their attention now. The wrestlers, the note passers, Betty-everyone rummaged around in their desks. In the meantime, Ms. Lynn wrote the first name of each student on the blackboard.
"On the left side of your paper, I want you to do what I'm doing. List the first name of everyone in the class."
There was a flurry of scribbling, a buzz of excited energy. Something was very different about this lesson.
"Okay," Ms. Lynn said when their pencils were silent. "Now, next to each name, I want you to write one word or phrase that sums up what you love or like or admire or respect or appreciate about that person. Something positive that you've noticed about them. Got it?"
Thirty-six heads nodded vigorously and once more there was a flurry of pencils. The wrestlers stared at the page, occasionally popping their heads up to scrutinize the next person on the list. The note passers scribbled faster than their brains could think, pausing frequently to swipe eraser dust from the paper. Even Betty's eyes seemed less red as she considered each of the names and wrote what she admired about them with her looping penmanship. For the first time in the history of Ms. Lynn's period five math class, there wasn't a single peep for fifty minutes. When the bell rang, the students raced to finish their lists and Ms. Lynn sent them on t...
Influencers LEAD
Lift: Thirty-six Pieces of Paper
Have you ever heard an unforgettable story-one that you can't stop thinking about for days, months, or even years? These kinds of stories aren't just heartwarming; they make us fundamentally rethink our assumptions. They change the way we see and treat other people. They change the way we live and lead.
I am about to tell you one of those stories. When I heard it for the first time, everything seemed to go still, as if time itself had slowed its relentless march just to ensure I heard about a junior high school teacher named Ms. Lynn. With one simple class exercise on a bright spring day, she taught a roomful of eighth graders that no matter how alone they might feel, however dark and cold life may get, they are loved.
There isn't a Hollywood movie about Ms. Lynn. I guarantee you've never heard of her. But Ms. Lynn's story moved me more than any other movie or book ever has because it beautifully illustrates the simple and awesome power of lifting others up. That, at its heart, is what influence is all about. It's not telling people how great they are; it's showing them how great they are. Lifting others up means identifying moments-no matter how insignificant they may seem-to show them that they matter.
After you read about Ms. Lynn, I challenge you to slow down. Slow down as you live your day-to-day life. Slow down as you interact with your co-workers, slow down when you have dinner with your family, slow down when you're ordering food at a restaurant. Slow down and be aware of the people around you and ask yourself: How can I lift them up, even just a little bit?
On a warm and sunny Friday in March 1962, a thirty-year-old teacher named Ms. Lynn walked into her eighth grade math class. It was the last period of the day before spring break officially began, and Ms. Lynn took a moment to read the energy of the room.
Now, imagine you're back in eighth grade. Your mind isn't too focused on geometry to begin with. But at three o'clock on the first beautiful afternoon after a long, cold winter? Only fifty minutes before the beginning of a weeklong vacation? Forget it.
Ms. Lynn watched two boys having a wrestling match and three girls passing notes in the third row. In the corner was a girl rubbing her puffy red eyes. Her name was Betty, and Ms. Lynn knew her parents were in the middle of a divorce. The rest of the class gazed anxiously out the window, hoping to enjoy a brief glimpse of spring. She looked down at her lesson plan: the Pythagorean theorem. There was no way the class would be absorbing A2+B2=C2 and why it was important to calculate the hypotenuse of a right triangle. Most teachers would plow ahead with the lesson anyway. But Ms. Lynn wasn't like most teachers.
After settling down the wrestlers and telling the girls to put their notes away, she removed a page from a three-ring binder and held it up to the class. "See this piece of paper? This is my lesson plan for today." Thirty-six pairs of eyes stared at it blankly, and then back out the window. With a slight smile, Ms. Lynn tore it up and tossed the fragments into the trash. The class erupted into applause. Even Betty, still fighting back tears, had a little smile on her face.
"Here's what we are going to do today," Ms. Lynn continued. "Everyone take out a piece of paper and a pencil." She had their attention now. The wrestlers, the note passers, Betty-everyone rummaged around in their desks. In the meantime, Ms. Lynn wrote the first name of each student on the blackboard.
"On the left side of your paper, I want you to do what I'm doing. List the first name of everyone in the class."
There was a flurry of scribbling, a buzz of excited energy. Something was very different about this lesson.
"Okay," Ms. Lynn said when their pencils were silent. "Now, next to each name, I want you to write one word or phrase that sums up what you love or like or admire or respect or appreciate about that person. Something positive that you've noticed about them. Got it?"
Thirty-six heads nodded vigorously and once more there was a flurry of pencils. The wrestlers stared at the page, occasionally popping their heads up to scrutinize the next person on the list. The note passers scribbled faster than their brains could think, pausing frequently to swipe eraser dust from the paper. Even Betty's eyes seemed less red as she considered each of the names and wrote what she admired about them with her looping penmanship. For the first time in the history of Ms. Lynn's period five math class, there wasn't a single peep for fifty minutes. When the bell rang, the students raced to finish their lists and Ms. Lynn sent them on t...
