Professionals & Academics
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Unmasked: My Life Solving America's Cold Cases
From the detective who found the Golden State Killer, a memoir that "grabs its reader in a stranglehold and proves more fascinating than fiction and darker than any noir narrative." (LA Magazine)
I order another bourbon, neat. This is the drink that will flip the switch. I don't even know how I got here, to this place, to this point. Something is happening to me lately. I'm drinking too much. My sheets are soaking wet when I wake up from nightmares of decaying corpses. I order another drink and swig it, trying to forget about the latest case I can't shake.
Crime solving for me is more complex than the challenge of the hunt, or the process of piecing together a scientific puzzle. The thought of good people suffering drives me, for better or worse, to the point of obsession. People always ask how I am able to detach from the horrors of my work. Part of it is an innate capacity to compartmentalize; the rest is experience and exposure, and I've had plenty of both. But I have always taken pride in the fact that I can keep my feelings locked up to get the job done. It's only been recently that it feels like all that suppressed darkness is beginning to seep out.
When I look back at my long career, there is a lot I am proud of. I have caught some of the most notorious killers of the twenty-first century and brought justice and closure for their victims and families. I want to tell you about a lifetime solving these cold cases, from Laci Peterson to Jaycee Dugard to the Pittsburg homicides to, yes, my twenty-year-long hunt for the Golden State Killer.
But a deeper question eats at me as I ask myself, at what cost? I have sacrificed relationships, joy―even fatherhood―because the pursuit of evil always came first. Did I make the right choice? It's something I grapple with every day. Yet as I stand in the spot where a young girl took her last breath, as I look into the eyes of her family, I know that, for me, there has never been a choice. "I don't know if I can solve your case," I whisper. "But I promise I will do my best."
It is a promise I know I can keep.
I order another bourbon, neat. This is the drink that will flip the switch. I don't even know how I got here, to this place, to this point. Something is happening to me lately. I'm drinking too much. My sheets are soaking wet when I wake up from nightmares of decaying corpses. I order another drink and swig it, trying to forget about the latest case I can't shake.
Crime solving for me is more complex than the challenge of the hunt, or the process of piecing together a scientific puzzle. The thought of good people suffering drives me, for better or worse, to the point of obsession. People always ask how I am able to detach from the horrors of my work. Part of it is an innate capacity to compartmentalize; the rest is experience and exposure, and I've had plenty of both. But I have always taken pride in the fact that I can keep my feelings locked up to get the job done. It's only been recently that it feels like all that suppressed darkness is beginning to seep out.
When I look back at my long career, there is a lot I am proud of. I have caught some of the most notorious killers of the twenty-first century and brought justice and closure for their victims and families. I want to tell you about a lifetime solving these cold cases, from Laci Peterson to Jaycee Dugard to the Pittsburg homicides to, yes, my twenty-year-long hunt for the Golden State Killer.
But a deeper question eats at me as I ask myself, at what cost? I have sacrificed relationships, joy―even fatherhood―because the pursuit of evil always came first. Did I make the right choice? It's something I grapple with every day. Yet as I stand in the spot where a young girl took her last breath, as I look into the eyes of her family, I know that, for me, there has never been a choice. "I don't know if I can solve your case," I whisper. "But I promise I will do my best."
It is a promise I know I can keep.
Editorial Reviews
"[Paul Holes's] memoir grabs its reader in a stranglehold and proves more fascinating than fiction and darker than any noir narrative."
―Los Angeles Magazine
"Fans of true crime will love every page of Unmasked. It is a wildly engaging and painfully honest read that will appeal to anyone curious about the lives of those who pursue justice for voiceless victims."
―San Francisco Chronicle
"An exceptional memoir... his unflinching look at the emotional toll the more than 27 years he spent working in Contra Costa County in the San Francisco Bay Area took on him and his family distinguishes this from similar true crime narratives."
―Publishers Weekly, starred review
"Paul Holes takes you on a fascinating and sometimes disturbing journey inside the mind of someone who hunts monsters for a living―and in order to live. And his insights on Michelle McNamara―whose loss I still feel every day―are incredible."
―Patton Oswalt
"True-crime superstar Holes takes readers on a gripping journey into the mind of a cold-case detective…a thoughtful yet fast-paced and absorbing amalgamation of personal memoir and true-crime novel. Crime junkies and nonfiction fans will clamor to get their hands on this book."
―Booklist
"The stories [Holes] tells―and the solutions to the crimes―are fascinating. Grisly, matter-of-fact, and just the thing for aspiring detectives."
―Kirkus
"Unmasked is a stunning, brutally honest memoir about a complex, highly gifted forensic scientist who sacrificed his own personal life, even his marriage and fatherhood, in his relentless pursuit of monsters."
―Mystery & Suspense Magazine
"Paul Holes is a natural criminal profiler with a talent for describing how the process works. In his book, Unmasked, he marches the reader into the real world of criminal behavior and blends his forensic expertise with his unfiltered personal life experiences as he tackles both cold cases and modern crimes. This is a book you will not b...
―Los Angeles Magazine
"Fans of true crime will love every page of Unmasked. It is a wildly engaging and painfully honest read that will appeal to anyone curious about the lives of those who pursue justice for voiceless victims."
―San Francisco Chronicle
"An exceptional memoir... his unflinching look at the emotional toll the more than 27 years he spent working in Contra Costa County in the San Francisco Bay Area took on him and his family distinguishes this from similar true crime narratives."
―Publishers Weekly, starred review
"Paul Holes takes you on a fascinating and sometimes disturbing journey inside the mind of someone who hunts monsters for a living―and in order to live. And his insights on Michelle McNamara―whose loss I still feel every day―are incredible."
―Patton Oswalt
"True-crime superstar Holes takes readers on a gripping journey into the mind of a cold-case detective…a thoughtful yet fast-paced and absorbing amalgamation of personal memoir and true-crime novel. Crime junkies and nonfiction fans will clamor to get their hands on this book."
―Booklist
"The stories [Holes] tells―and the solutions to the crimes―are fascinating. Grisly, matter-of-fact, and just the thing for aspiring detectives."
―Kirkus
"Unmasked is a stunning, brutally honest memoir about a complex, highly gifted forensic scientist who sacrificed his own personal life, even his marriage and fatherhood, in his relentless pursuit of monsters."
―Mystery & Suspense Magazine
"Paul Holes is a natural criminal profiler with a talent for describing how the process works. In his book, Unmasked, he marches the reader into the real world of criminal behavior and blends his forensic expertise with his unfiltered personal life experiences as he tackles both cold cases and modern crimes. This is a book you will not b...
Readers Top Reviews
Carole Wooten
I really liked this book! I had no idea who Paul Holes was when I picked up this book but it didn’t take long before I was captivated by this book. It is still kind of amazing to me that the same person would have been a part of so many high-profile cases. This was the kind of book that I would think about when I wasn’t reading so I can understand why Mr. Holes had a hard time getting these cases out of his head. I am so glad that I decided to give this book a try. Paul Holes is credited with helping to catch the Golden State Killer. One might say that he was almost obsessed with finding who was responsible for these rapes and murders and sometimes pursued leads against the directions of his superiors. A lot of this book is dedicated to detailing these crimes and what went into breaking the case. I found all of this to be very interesting since I knew little about these crimes. He was also a part of the investigation of the Laci Peterson and Jaycee Dugard cases which were well-known. Those aren’t the only cases covered in the book and many of the others were not only eye-opening but heart-breaking. I should also note that Paul Holes worked in the crime lab so science plays a role in this book and I really liked seeing how forensics helps to solve cases. We also get to see Mr. Holes’s personal life and how his job impacted his family life. I was impressed that he shared so many personal details in this book. He gave so much to his job that there was often not much left to share with his wife and children. He acknowledges his obsession with finding these criminals and how it took over his life. I also appreciated his candor when discussing the obstacles he faced when trying to work with other municipalities in trying to solve cases. I would highly recommend this book to others. It was the kind of book that made me think and also appreciate the people who put so much of themselves out there to help make the world a safer place. I received an advanced review copy of this book from Celadon Books.
Sally Schmidt
What a fascinating book. Exciting, thrilling, and scary if you live in the very area author Paul Holes writes about. He is a natural investigator, criminologist, groundbreaker and crime solver. He is bursting with intelligence and ingenuity, and you can feel his passion for his work, his dedication to the victims, his at times Don Quixote-like quest for the truth and justice. And you can see and feel through his own words how this passion and determination became an obsession and harmed nearly everything in his life: his work standing and work relationships, his family and personal relationships, and his own mental health and well-being. He recognizes it and makes some adjustments but it appears even after his retirement from Bay Area law enforcement his quest continues. He just can’t help it. When I told my co-workers in the early 1990s that I was buying a home in Antioch they raised their eyebrows and one asked if I had bought a gun. After reading this book I understand why. I came into town the back way on the tree-lined streets where orchards had been, but it turns out the roads I took to go shopping or the neighborhoods on the other side of town that did seem a little seamy were a lot more dangerous. As in, “Antioch a Bay Area suburb. Antioch had a seedy reputation, fueled mostly by crime-infested neighborhoods and street gangs.” Author Paul Holes has lots of stories about lots of Bay Area suburbs like Antioch, and they are riveting. He tells the story of his entry into crime-solving and the world he found himself in. It’s a fast-paced book full of facts I knew and other little bits that had me wide-eyed. He tells of the successes and of many frustrating failures to catch the criminal. Of his frustration and disappointment and refusal to do anything but continue to revisit those crimes over and over to look for any little thing that might have been missed or come to light. And with the Golden State Killer he succeeded. Amazing – and sobering – to realize just how unglamourous this work is, how much attention to detail, patience, perseverance it takes. And how much luck. Thanks to Celadon Books for providing an advance copy of Unmasked: My Life Solving America's Cold Cases for my honest review. I could not put it down. While I was aware of many of the cases detailed in the book, Holes provides a unique viewpoint, an insider look at what it’s like on the law enforcement side and what can be happening in our neighborhoods all around us. Unmasked is well written, smoothly laid out so the chronology flows and the timelines are easy to keep track of. Holes is relentless, brave, admirable. And often a sad figure because of how his obsession with crime-solving has affected the rest of his life. I recommend Unmasked without hesitation. All opinions are my own. @CeladonBooks #UnmaskedBook #CeladonReads...
