Literature & Fiction
![Danielle Valentine - [object Object] author](https://res.cloudinary.com/readsomnia/image/upload/authors/a_B0B7T7X1CL.jpg)
How to Survive Your Murder
Scream meets Happy Death Day in this terrifying stand-alone horror novel from YA scream queen Danielle Valentine.
"This terrifying book reads like a horror movie. No, wait. It has the suspense and shocks and screams of TEN horror movies in one. Great nasty fun!" -R.L. Stine, author of Goosebumps and Fear Street
Alice Lawrence is the sole witness in her sister's murder trial.
And in the year since Claire's death, Alice's life has completely fallen apart. Her parents have gotten divorced, she's moved into an apartment that smells like bologna, and she is being forced to face her sister's killer and a courtroom full of people who doubt what she saw in the corn maze a year prior.
Claire was an all-American girl, beautiful and bubbly, and a theater star. Alice was a nerd who dreamed of becoming a forensic pathologist and would rather stay at home to watch her favorite horror movies than party. Despite their differences, they were bonded by sisterhood and were each other's best friends.
Until Claire was taken away from her.
On the first day of the murder trial, as Alice prepares to give her testimony, she is knocked out by a Sidney Prescott look-alike in the courthouse bathroom. When she wakes up, it is Halloween night a year earlier, the same day Claire was murdered. Alice has until midnight to save her sister and find the real killer before he claims another victim.
"This terrifying book reads like a horror movie. No, wait. It has the suspense and shocks and screams of TEN horror movies in one. Great nasty fun!" -R.L. Stine, author of Goosebumps and Fear Street
Alice Lawrence is the sole witness in her sister's murder trial.
And in the year since Claire's death, Alice's life has completely fallen apart. Her parents have gotten divorced, she's moved into an apartment that smells like bologna, and she is being forced to face her sister's killer and a courtroom full of people who doubt what she saw in the corn maze a year prior.
Claire was an all-American girl, beautiful and bubbly, and a theater star. Alice was a nerd who dreamed of becoming a forensic pathologist and would rather stay at home to watch her favorite horror movies than party. Despite their differences, they were bonded by sisterhood and were each other's best friends.
Until Claire was taken away from her.
On the first day of the murder trial, as Alice prepares to give her testimony, she is knocked out by a Sidney Prescott look-alike in the courthouse bathroom. When she wakes up, it is Halloween night a year earlier, the same day Claire was murdered. Alice has until midnight to save her sister and find the real killer before he claims another victim.
Editorial Reviews
"This terrifying book reads like a horror movie. No, wait. It has the suspense and shocks and screams of TEN horror movies in one. Great nasty fun!" -R.L. Stine, author of Goosebumps and Fear Street
"Chilling and unpredictable. A meta must-read for horror fans and thrill-seekers." -Jessica Goodman, NYT bestselling author of They'll Never Catch Us, They Wish They Were Us andThe Counselors
"Valentine's tense and twisty story packs a punch. Readers will tear through these pages to find out what happens." -Natalie D. Richards, New York Times bestselling author of Seven Dirty Secrets
"Chilling and unpredictable. A meta must-read for horror fans and thrill-seekers." -Jessica Goodman, NYT bestselling author of They'll Never Catch Us, They Wish They Were Us andThe Counselors
"Valentine's tense and twisty story packs a punch. Readers will tear through these pages to find out what happens." -Natalie D. Richards, New York Times bestselling author of Seven Dirty Secrets
Readers Top Reviews
Leoni mccolganFay
As much as I enjoyed this I felt there was too much build up and it wrapped up far too fast. The ending also wasn’t the best for me
Alyssa LukeLeoni
A true who done it! Has you reading non stop to the end to figure out who it was, love the twists and turns! Great writing and unique twist on a thriller!
L MadisonDelta Hi
What just happened??? 3 hrs of my life I'll never get back. I wish I could time travel back and unread this book. I have never been as disappointed in an ending as I am with this one. The book itself seems to have a good story line (pretty predictable but it wasn't horrible). But the ending of the book ruined what potential it did have. Makes you think you wasted so much time getting wrapped up in its plot. Way too many unanswered questions. And a name apparently left off the 2nd to last page which makes you go "but what about ***??" (great job editing team). If there were a sequel to this book it might allow it a small glimmer of hope. But as it is listed as a stand-alone it just made me sooooooooooooooo disappointed with the end. Pretty much like the author got lazy and spent about 5 minutes - if that - on this ending. If only there was a zero or maybe even a negative number of stars to rate this I would have without a doubt selected that. Do NOT recommend and really wish I could get a refund for this so-called book.
MorganL MadisonDe
Just started reading this book today and i love the cover of the book is so cute and the book itself is pretty good so far it makes alot of movie references but still pretty good and little bit of funny moments to so far so good 😊 📖 UPDATE i just finished the book after a couple hrs it was impossible to put down! I loved it I definitely recommend:)
Misty McClaskeyCo
This book has me completely perplexed. I hated this book for 3/4 of it. I hated the characters. They were trying to be so cool and edgy, it was kind of cheesy. But, this is a young adult book… so maybe if I were 14, I would find them cool? I spent a lot of time skimming at the ridiculousness. I knew from the first few pages who the killer was. Annoying. Then, the plot of the book — to go back in time and right the wrongs and stop the murder before it happens… are you kidding me? But. I hit the 3/4 mark and I realized I had figured out nothing. I was drawn in because this book tricked me. I couldn’t possibly skim. I had MISSED something. There was a twist so insane I can’t believe I just read that! So, maybe this book wasn’t that bad after all. It was worth my time, even if it only occurred in that last fourth of the plot. Well played, Danielle Valentine. Well played.
Short Excerpt Teaser
Halloween night, last year
Mark Evans was practically cradling the chain saw. You'd think it was his baby. "I don't know, Chloe; that doesn't seem safe."
"It won't even have a chain," Chloe pointed out. "A chain saw can't hurt anyone if there's no chain."
"It's still heavy. And loud. And what about all that . . . what's it called? Exhaust? You can inhale it and stuff."
Chloe closed her eyes for a moment, frustration building inside her. Mark was the biggest guy on the track team. Maybe even the biggest guy in their year. Since when was he such a wuss?
To be fair, she hadn't chosen him because he was brave or whatever. She'd chosen him because of his shoulders. Mark had the greatest shoulders at Omaha East, all broad and muscular. She figured they'd look seriously sick holding a chain saw, like the guy in that freaky chain saw movie, Jason, or whatever his name was.
"Can't we just, like, play a recording of chain saw noises?" Mark asked. "Or I could make the noise with my mouth, like this." He demonstrated how he might make chain saw noises by blowing air through his lips and kind of clicking his tongue.
Chloe was at a loss for words. What were you supposed to say when a guy made chain saw noises at you?
Chloe had known, from the moment she convinced her parents to let her rent out Lacy Farms for her Halloween party, that she wanted scary chain saw guys chasing people through the corn maze. Otherwise it was just a pathetic party in a cornfield. Why could no one else see her vision?
"Mark," Chloe said very carefully. "Listen to me. You're going to turn the chain saw on, and you're going to chase people through the maze, and you're going to be fucking scary while you do it, or else I'll have to tell everyone about that thing you do when you kiss."
Mark had swirled his tongue around in her mouth when they made out at Kylie Mack's birthday last year, like his tongue was a weird, wet helicopter propeller. It was seriously disgusting.
Mark paled, then swallowed. "Yeah, okay."
Thank God, Chloe thought as headlights swept through the corn, alerting her to the arrival of her first guests. She loved this part, the beginning--of--the--party part. Absolutely anything could happen now. She checked her phone screen just in time to watch the numbers switch from 6:59 to 7:00.
Showtime.
The genius of her party was this: people had to go through the scary corn maze and get chased by chain saw dudes before they were rewarded with booze and music at the center of the field. Chloe was pretty proud of it. She knew everything was set up, but she still double--checked that the camping lanterns were all lit, that the keg was ready, that the band was getting its gear together. She greeted her first guests, did a shot, and then did a bonus shot (what the hell, it was her party), and that's when she overheard someone talking about how the corn maze wasn't even scary, because Mark Evans hadn't turned his chain saw on; he was just making the chain saw noise by blowing air through his lips.
She felt her jaw clench.
You've got to be kidding me.
The sun had fully set by this point, and the only light came from the camping lanterns circling the edges of the clearing behind her, gaslit flames flickering like fireflies. Chloe beelined for the maze but hesitated when she reached the entrance. It was darker than she'd expected it to be, a lot darker than it'd been when she was talking to Mark twenty minutes ago. The entrance was a gaping black mouth. She imagined it snapping closed around her the moment she stepped inside.
She swallowed. "Mark?" she whisper--shouted, taking a single step forward. Fallen cornstalks cracked beneath her feet, and it struck her that the sound was brittle, like bones breaking. She felt a flicker of fear and quickly pushed the thought away. It was the exact same maze she'd been through a million times in the daylight. There was no reason to get all freaked out. She said, louder now, "Mark, get out here."
No answer.
He was going to make her come find him, wasn't he? Well, fine, if he wanted to do it that way. She turned a corner, and then another, and then--
There. A figure in the shadows, holding a chain saw.
Chloe exhaled. "I thought we'd agreed you were going to turn the chain saw on," she said, searching for Mark's giant arms in the sha-d-ows. "If you just make the noises with your mouth, it's seriously--"
The moon sl...
Mark Evans was practically cradling the chain saw. You'd think it was his baby. "I don't know, Chloe; that doesn't seem safe."
"It won't even have a chain," Chloe pointed out. "A chain saw can't hurt anyone if there's no chain."
"It's still heavy. And loud. And what about all that . . . what's it called? Exhaust? You can inhale it and stuff."
Chloe closed her eyes for a moment, frustration building inside her. Mark was the biggest guy on the track team. Maybe even the biggest guy in their year. Since when was he such a wuss?
To be fair, she hadn't chosen him because he was brave or whatever. She'd chosen him because of his shoulders. Mark had the greatest shoulders at Omaha East, all broad and muscular. She figured they'd look seriously sick holding a chain saw, like the guy in that freaky chain saw movie, Jason, or whatever his name was.
"Can't we just, like, play a recording of chain saw noises?" Mark asked. "Or I could make the noise with my mouth, like this." He demonstrated how he might make chain saw noises by blowing air through his lips and kind of clicking his tongue.
Chloe was at a loss for words. What were you supposed to say when a guy made chain saw noises at you?
Chloe had known, from the moment she convinced her parents to let her rent out Lacy Farms for her Halloween party, that she wanted scary chain saw guys chasing people through the corn maze. Otherwise it was just a pathetic party in a cornfield. Why could no one else see her vision?
"Mark," Chloe said very carefully. "Listen to me. You're going to turn the chain saw on, and you're going to chase people through the maze, and you're going to be fucking scary while you do it, or else I'll have to tell everyone about that thing you do when you kiss."
Mark had swirled his tongue around in her mouth when they made out at Kylie Mack's birthday last year, like his tongue was a weird, wet helicopter propeller. It was seriously disgusting.
Mark paled, then swallowed. "Yeah, okay."
Thank God, Chloe thought as headlights swept through the corn, alerting her to the arrival of her first guests. She loved this part, the beginning--of--the--party part. Absolutely anything could happen now. She checked her phone screen just in time to watch the numbers switch from 6:59 to 7:00.
Showtime.
The genius of her party was this: people had to go through the scary corn maze and get chased by chain saw dudes before they were rewarded with booze and music at the center of the field. Chloe was pretty proud of it. She knew everything was set up, but she still double--checked that the camping lanterns were all lit, that the keg was ready, that the band was getting its gear together. She greeted her first guests, did a shot, and then did a bonus shot (what the hell, it was her party), and that's when she overheard someone talking about how the corn maze wasn't even scary, because Mark Evans hadn't turned his chain saw on; he was just making the chain saw noise by blowing air through his lips.
She felt her jaw clench.
You've got to be kidding me.
The sun had fully set by this point, and the only light came from the camping lanterns circling the edges of the clearing behind her, gaslit flames flickering like fireflies. Chloe beelined for the maze but hesitated when she reached the entrance. It was darker than she'd expected it to be, a lot darker than it'd been when she was talking to Mark twenty minutes ago. The entrance was a gaping black mouth. She imagined it snapping closed around her the moment she stepped inside.
She swallowed. "Mark?" she whisper--shouted, taking a single step forward. Fallen cornstalks cracked beneath her feet, and it struck her that the sound was brittle, like bones breaking. She felt a flicker of fear and quickly pushed the thought away. It was the exact same maze she'd been through a million times in the daylight. There was no reason to get all freaked out. She said, louder now, "Mark, get out here."
No answer.
He was going to make her come find him, wasn't he? Well, fine, if he wanted to do it that way. She turned a corner, and then another, and then--
There. A figure in the shadows, holding a chain saw.
Chloe exhaled. "I thought we'd agreed you were going to turn the chain saw on," she said, searching for Mark's giant arms in the sha-d-ows. "If you just make the noises with your mouth, it's seriously--"
The moon sl...
