Arts & Literature
![Rachel Lindsay - [object Object] author](https://res.cloudinary.com/readsomnia/image/upload/authors/a_a_rachel_lindsay.jpg)
Miss Me with That: Hot Takes, Helpful Tidbits, and a Few Hard Truths
A candid, witty, and inspiring collection of essays from The Bachelor's first Black Bachelorette, exploring everything from relationships and love to politics and race
"The Bachelor gave me an opportunity, but I created my own happy ending."
Rachel Lindsay rose to prominence as The Bachelor's first Black Bachelorette and has since become one of the franchise's most well-known figures-and outspoken critics. But there has always been more to Lindsay than meets the eye, and in this book, she finally tells her own story, in her own words.
In wide-ranging essays, Lindsay opens up about her experience on ABC's hit show and reveals everything about her life off-camera, from a childhood growing up in Dallas, Texas, as the daughter of a U.S. District Judge, to her disastrous dating life prior to appearing on The Bachelor, to her career in law, and the decision to become a reality-TV contestant. She also brings a sharp wit and keen intellect to weigh in on issues such as the lack of diversity in reality television and the importance of political engagement, protest, and the Black Lives Matter movement.
Told in the down-to-earth, no-nonsense voice she's become known for, Lindsay's book of essays provides an intimate look at the life of one of reality TV's most beloved stars, as well as advice and inspiration that will make her a role model for anyone who has ever struggled to find their way in love and life. As she says, "Contrary to popular belief, the best gift I ever received was not a wedding ring. It was the permission I gave myself to be imperfect." And if you don't believe her, you know the saying: Miss me with that.
"The Bachelor gave me an opportunity, but I created my own happy ending."
Rachel Lindsay rose to prominence as The Bachelor's first Black Bachelorette and has since become one of the franchise's most well-known figures-and outspoken critics. But there has always been more to Lindsay than meets the eye, and in this book, she finally tells her own story, in her own words.
In wide-ranging essays, Lindsay opens up about her experience on ABC's hit show and reveals everything about her life off-camera, from a childhood growing up in Dallas, Texas, as the daughter of a U.S. District Judge, to her disastrous dating life prior to appearing on The Bachelor, to her career in law, and the decision to become a reality-TV contestant. She also brings a sharp wit and keen intellect to weigh in on issues such as the lack of diversity in reality television and the importance of political engagement, protest, and the Black Lives Matter movement.
Told in the down-to-earth, no-nonsense voice she's become known for, Lindsay's book of essays provides an intimate look at the life of one of reality TV's most beloved stars, as well as advice and inspiration that will make her a role model for anyone who has ever struggled to find their way in love and life. As she says, "Contrary to popular belief, the best gift I ever received was not a wedding ring. It was the permission I gave myself to be imperfect." And if you don't believe her, you know the saying: Miss me with that.
Editorial Reviews
"In Miss Me with That, Rachel Lindsay shares her full story for the first time, letting readers inside her world both inside and outside of the Bachelor franchise."-Marie Claire
"In this revealing debut, erstwhile Bachelorette Lindsay offers a blistering critique of the Bachelor franchise while reflecting on her racial identity, turbulent relationships, and life as a reality-TV personality. . . . Lindsay's many fans will devour this entertaining exposé."-Publishers Weekly
"In this revealing debut, erstwhile Bachelorette Lindsay offers a blistering critique of the Bachelor franchise while reflecting on her racial identity, turbulent relationships, and life as a reality-TV personality. . . . Lindsay's many fans will devour this entertaining exposé."-Publishers Weekly
Readers Top Reviews
juliaJanna
I am not the type to purchase a book so quickly ( well Only Julia Quinn books lol !! ) however, when I saw that Rachel had a book coming out I couldn't help myself. She is the only person from that TV show i invested my money on. She did not fail me. The book has her wit, charm, and intelligence. You will get to know a different Rachel far from all the bad press she has been getting. I will 100% recommend this book. Especially for this cold weather ... you can cuddle up and enjoy a nice weekend stress-free from reading her story. You will not regret it. :)
EzinwanyiGerda E. Ja
Looks like Rachel is done with the franchise. This memoir was a "I'm about to set the record straight" for the those who religiously follow the drama known as the Bachelor and Bachelorette. While I didn't watch her show, this show always felt contrived so I wasn't interested. But there was enough tv coverage that I knew some of the issues Rachel Lindsay had with her portrayal. I also saw some of the vitriol spewed her way after Rachel had the exchange with Chris Harrison following Matt James ridiculous season. I was glad to read Rachel's story from her own point of view but she also presented as haughty to me. I am glad she is living her best life and she got to set the record straight about her time on the bachelor and bachelorette, but I can't say she has lived an interesting enough life to make this book inspirational or even entertaining
Will G.
Nice to hear Rachel tell her own story in her own words. She presents a warts and all story of her life that does not feel forced and is entertaining.
Brittany
I’m a long time Bachelor Nation and Rachel Lindsay fan so I was super excited to read this book. I love how Rachel was honest about her past, career journey, and Bachelor Nation journey. She’s inspired me to continue becoming my best self and to not hold myself back!
Touche
I enjoyed this book on many levels. I enjoyed getting to know the real Rachel Lindsay. I am not a big Bachelor fan so I was unaware she had been on the Bachelor. I had watched the Bachelorette, solely because she was the first black contestant. Reading this book gave me insights on some of the things they showed on TV. There are life lessons here for all of us. Again, really enjoyed it.
Short Excerpt Teaser
This Is Not a Fairy Tale
On August 7, 2017, more than seven million people watched me accept a marriage proposal on The Bachelorette. They tuned in every Monday night for nine weeks to witness the very emotional process of my meeting, getting to know, and ultimately sending home thirty men. After watching genuine connections, tense conflicts, and heartbreaking farewells, fans think they know me.
When you watched me on TV, you might have seen someone who had it all together-an intelligent and mature woman who was secure within herself, knew what she wanted, and refused to suffer anyone whose own agenda got in the way. Privileged upbringing, attorney-at-law, and actually married to the man I chose on the show? It can be easy to think that my life is a fairy tale.
But my journey to love began long before those eleven episodes. To truly understand the desires, motives, and reasons behind the decisions I made on The Bachelorette, you have to know my story before I ever followed that whim to audition for a show I'd never watched. My biggest hope is that when you finish reading Miss Me with That, you'll realize that I'm not so different from you. I don't have it all together. In fact, right before I signed on to be a contestant on The Bachelor . . . Girl, I was the epitome of untogether. So much so that had the man I wanted to marry at the time asked me not to do the show, I would have passed on the opportunity (and probably be living that mediocre life my critics love to keep threatening me with). But I appreciate how much you wanted me to win, and I want to reciprocate the love by sharing the journey behind the journey so you can win, too. I want you to know me at my worst so you can learn from my experiences and realize that no matter how complicated you might be, you can have the life you dream for yourself. You absolutely deserve it.
Note to The Bachelor fans: Let me warn you that this is not your typical Bachelor book. When I share anything about the show that I haven't disclosed before (and we can all agree I have had tons to say), my intention isn't to spill the tea. C'mon, you already know that I'm going to be honest about what I think and feel about the franchise. Just understand that my intention is not to gossip about or hurt your favorites. If anything, I expose no one more than myself. I make a genuine effort to own my mistakes and regrets as readily as I express my concerns and resentments. I wrote this book with an open heart and I hope you read it with an open mind.
Miss Me with That is about how I went from pursuing a life of other people's design to becoming clear about what I wanted for myself and finding the courage to pursue my authentic desires. I wrote it to share the experiences and work it took to become the woman you see on TV or might hear on a podcast. Not to present myself as some paragon of success, because I assure you that I remain a work in progress. If anything, as you read, I want you to think, "Damn, Rachel was a hot mess, but at least she was always willing to clean her shit up."
I chose the title Miss Me with That because it's a phrase I've been prone to say on the two podcasts I cohosted after appearing on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette-Bachelor Happy Hour with fellow alum Becca Kufrin and Higher Learning, where Van Lathan and I discuss the latest in hot topics, politics, current affairs, and sports, and how they impact Black culture. Whether a gentle pushback or a forceful argument, saying "Miss me with that" is my way of calling bullshit. In other words, I use it a lot. Especially about serious topics like justice and equality and to my haters (and I've got plenty for you, too, since I know you're here, too).
Contrary to popular belief, the best gift I ever received was not a wedding ring. It was the permission I gave myself to be imperfect and grow from some less-than-flattering experiences. If you think that my transparency can be of service to you in any way, turn the page. If not, you know the saying . . . you can miss me with that.
Rachel's Life Plan (Age 18)
Age 18: Graduate from First Baptist Academy and move from Dallas, Texas, to New York City to attend New York University. (Who needs a gap year?) While in college, meet my future husband-an Omega football player. (Refer to the list on page 50 for other qualifications.)
Age 22: Graduate from New York University with a BA in political science. Then promptly move to Southern California and begin law school. First choice is Loyola Marymount, but Pepperdine or UCLA would be great, too.
Age 25: Graduate from law school with a specialization in sports and entert...
On August 7, 2017, more than seven million people watched me accept a marriage proposal on The Bachelorette. They tuned in every Monday night for nine weeks to witness the very emotional process of my meeting, getting to know, and ultimately sending home thirty men. After watching genuine connections, tense conflicts, and heartbreaking farewells, fans think they know me.
When you watched me on TV, you might have seen someone who had it all together-an intelligent and mature woman who was secure within herself, knew what she wanted, and refused to suffer anyone whose own agenda got in the way. Privileged upbringing, attorney-at-law, and actually married to the man I chose on the show? It can be easy to think that my life is a fairy tale.
But my journey to love began long before those eleven episodes. To truly understand the desires, motives, and reasons behind the decisions I made on The Bachelorette, you have to know my story before I ever followed that whim to audition for a show I'd never watched. My biggest hope is that when you finish reading Miss Me with That, you'll realize that I'm not so different from you. I don't have it all together. In fact, right before I signed on to be a contestant on The Bachelor . . . Girl, I was the epitome of untogether. So much so that had the man I wanted to marry at the time asked me not to do the show, I would have passed on the opportunity (and probably be living that mediocre life my critics love to keep threatening me with). But I appreciate how much you wanted me to win, and I want to reciprocate the love by sharing the journey behind the journey so you can win, too. I want you to know me at my worst so you can learn from my experiences and realize that no matter how complicated you might be, you can have the life you dream for yourself. You absolutely deserve it.
Note to The Bachelor fans: Let me warn you that this is not your typical Bachelor book. When I share anything about the show that I haven't disclosed before (and we can all agree I have had tons to say), my intention isn't to spill the tea. C'mon, you already know that I'm going to be honest about what I think and feel about the franchise. Just understand that my intention is not to gossip about or hurt your favorites. If anything, I expose no one more than myself. I make a genuine effort to own my mistakes and regrets as readily as I express my concerns and resentments. I wrote this book with an open heart and I hope you read it with an open mind.
Miss Me with That is about how I went from pursuing a life of other people's design to becoming clear about what I wanted for myself and finding the courage to pursue my authentic desires. I wrote it to share the experiences and work it took to become the woman you see on TV or might hear on a podcast. Not to present myself as some paragon of success, because I assure you that I remain a work in progress. If anything, as you read, I want you to think, "Damn, Rachel was a hot mess, but at least she was always willing to clean her shit up."
I chose the title Miss Me with That because it's a phrase I've been prone to say on the two podcasts I cohosted after appearing on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette-Bachelor Happy Hour with fellow alum Becca Kufrin and Higher Learning, where Van Lathan and I discuss the latest in hot topics, politics, current affairs, and sports, and how they impact Black culture. Whether a gentle pushback or a forceful argument, saying "Miss me with that" is my way of calling bullshit. In other words, I use it a lot. Especially about serious topics like justice and equality and to my haters (and I've got plenty for you, too, since I know you're here, too).
Contrary to popular belief, the best gift I ever received was not a wedding ring. It was the permission I gave myself to be imperfect and grow from some less-than-flattering experiences. If you think that my transparency can be of service to you in any way, turn the page. If not, you know the saying . . . you can miss me with that.
Rachel's Life Plan (Age 18)
Age 18: Graduate from First Baptist Academy and move from Dallas, Texas, to New York City to attend New York University. (Who needs a gap year?) While in college, meet my future husband-an Omega football player. (Refer to the list on page 50 for other qualifications.)
Age 22: Graduate from New York University with a BA in political science. Then promptly move to Southern California and begin law school. First choice is Loyola Marymount, but Pepperdine or UCLA would be great, too.
Age 25: Graduate from law school with a specialization in sports and entert...
