The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade

This is an emotional and very important read. Opened my eyes to what social stigma did to those women who found themselves 'in trouble' in those days. As an adoptee it gave me a lot to think about.

This is such a well written book. The structure, the content, the voice of the author, and most of all--the stories of women who were forced to give up their children, and the emotional toll that took on their entire lives.

I have been searching for my birth family since I was 18, over 30 years. Finally having an inter-mediator find my birth mother this last week, my birth mother was shocked that I wanted contact with her, she never told her spouse or other children. So the inter-mediator suggested that she read this book. So I decided to read it also. Wow, was I enlightened. Being one of 4 adopted, we always knew we were adopted. I always wondered through the years why she never tried to find me or why she even gave me up. This book really helped me understand it from her perspective. It is a must read!

This book is a masterpiece of life before the “”A”” word was legal. The heart wrenching vignettes will stay with you. I cried my eyes out the whole time. I had to read it in steps, as it’s heavy, yet hopeful. Men and millennials, can learn a Lot! About women who got accidentally pregnant..... and had to stay, pregnant. Almost none, could keep their babies due to money, societal pressure and sadly, their reputations. All, made life altering decisions usually at the behest of others. In today’s world? Just TRY to imagine the mind numbing decision to give your baby away. The sense of shame, heaped on these poor women led to sometimes, suicide attempts and having to live a forever lie. Some? Died, never even knowing what had happened to their baby. Young women who have every Service at their disposal would do well to educate their spoiled, 16 year old selves. A magnificent read and a much needed voice of what once, was the norm.

Like many who have purchased this book, I am an adoptee. I have always known that I was adopted and located my birth mother a long time ago. (Long sigh.). I always felt like my birth mother and I have been very polite with each other and careful what we say. Reading about what the birth mother really experiences was heartbreaking and made me really sorry for all that she had been through. She had been saying little things here and there, but this book really made it sink in that this impacted her much more than I had thought. Being a mother now myself, I can’t imagine how it must have been. I would definitely recommend reading this book if you are an adoptee so that you have a better understanding of the birth mother’s experience and I would also recommend this book for birth mothers who have surrendered their child so that they know that their feelings are shared, valid and that they are not alone. This is personal, but I shed a lot of tears reading this book because so much of it is bittersweet.