Christian Living
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Beautiful Union: How God's Vision for Sex Points Us to the Good, Unlocks the True, and (Sort of) Explains Everything
A powerful call for Christians to understand sex as a window into God's story of redemption, and a validating guide to living with authentic love in a changing culture-from the influential pastor and author of The Skeletons in God's Closet.
Beautiful isn't likely the first word that comes to mind when we think about sex.
Our reactions are as varied as our experiences and backgrounds. Perhaps the word brings up past baggage. Perhaps it holds yearning for a dream that has never come true. Maybe we would rather not talk about it. Maybe it's all we want to talk about. Around us, our culture is divided by this topic. On one side, "progressive" voices seek to dismantle historic Christian teachings to fit current norms. On the other side, "conservative" voices can reinforce messages of shame, judgement, and repression.
Beautiful Union offers a third way, one that is both true and beautiful. It gives us a provocative, positive look into the deepest Christian understanding of sex . . . and what sex reveals about God, our world, and even ourselves. Through biblical teaching and livable, joyful answers to our tough questions about sexuality, author and pastor Joshua Ryan Butler shows how sex illuminates the structure of creation, the nature of salvation, the abundance of God's kingdom, and God's heartbeat for the world.
Discover afresh the beautiful invitation of our sexuality . . . as God intended it to be.
Beautiful isn't likely the first word that comes to mind when we think about sex.
Our reactions are as varied as our experiences and backgrounds. Perhaps the word brings up past baggage. Perhaps it holds yearning for a dream that has never come true. Maybe we would rather not talk about it. Maybe it's all we want to talk about. Around us, our culture is divided by this topic. On one side, "progressive" voices seek to dismantle historic Christian teachings to fit current norms. On the other side, "conservative" voices can reinforce messages of shame, judgement, and repression.
Beautiful Union offers a third way, one that is both true and beautiful. It gives us a provocative, positive look into the deepest Christian understanding of sex . . . and what sex reveals about God, our world, and even ourselves. Through biblical teaching and livable, joyful answers to our tough questions about sexuality, author and pastor Joshua Ryan Butler shows how sex illuminates the structure of creation, the nature of salvation, the abundance of God's kingdom, and God's heartbeat for the world.
Discover afresh the beautiful invitation of our sexuality . . . as God intended it to be.
Editorial Reviews
"The timeless biblical truth of God's story of sex has been lost in our modern era. However, the sexual confusion and pain of our day demand that we return to this brilliant narrative, embracing not simply biblical rules for sex but God's heart for our sexuality."-Dr. Juli Slattery, president of Authentic Intimacy and author of God, Sex, and Your Marriage
"Beautiful Union is simply astonishing. Every chapter is full of mind-blowing biblical insights, jaw-dropping theological connections, and a profound reframing of the contentious dimensions of sex. It's the Protestant magnum opus on sexual ethics we've been waiting for and one of the most important books I've ever read."-Brett McCracken, senior editor at the Gospel Coalition and author of Uncomfortable and Hipster Christianity
"Josh Butler has done it again. He has a way of taking the things I've been trying to think through and giving words and clarity to those issues and concerns. Thank you, Josh-you just made my preaching and leading easier. This is the cultural clarity we've all been waiting for."-Albert Tate, lead pastor of Fellowship Church and author of How We Love Matters
"What a timely and much-needed book! Beautiful Union powerfully shows how sex was intended to be a window into the beautiful dynamics of God's love for his people . . . Whether you are married or single, this is a must-read that will give you clarity on the meaning and purpose of sex."-Kristin Nave, creator of SheLovesBible and co-director of Abiding Free Ministries
"One of the best books I have read on anything in the last year, Beautiful Union combines a biblical theology of marriage with a compelling piece of sexual apologetics, and it does so with a pas- toral warmth and sparkle that few books on this subject attempt, let alone achieve. Indispensable."-Andrew Wilson, teaching pastor of King's Church London and author of God of All Things
"Beautiful Union is one of the best, most accessible theologies of marriage I have ever read! With the mind of a scholar and the heart of a friend, Josh Butler reveals...
"Beautiful Union is simply astonishing. Every chapter is full of mind-blowing biblical insights, jaw-dropping theological connections, and a profound reframing of the contentious dimensions of sex. It's the Protestant magnum opus on sexual ethics we've been waiting for and one of the most important books I've ever read."-Brett McCracken, senior editor at the Gospel Coalition and author of Uncomfortable and Hipster Christianity
"Josh Butler has done it again. He has a way of taking the things I've been trying to think through and giving words and clarity to those issues and concerns. Thank you, Josh-you just made my preaching and leading easier. This is the cultural clarity we've all been waiting for."-Albert Tate, lead pastor of Fellowship Church and author of How We Love Matters
"What a timely and much-needed book! Beautiful Union powerfully shows how sex was intended to be a window into the beautiful dynamics of God's love for his people . . . Whether you are married or single, this is a must-read that will give you clarity on the meaning and purpose of sex."-Kristin Nave, creator of SheLovesBible and co-director of Abiding Free Ministries
"One of the best books I have read on anything in the last year, Beautiful Union combines a biblical theology of marriage with a compelling piece of sexual apologetics, and it does so with a pas- toral warmth and sparkle that few books on this subject attempt, let alone achieve. Indispensable."-Andrew Wilson, teaching pastor of King's Church London and author of God of All Things
"Beautiful Union is one of the best, most accessible theologies of marriage I have ever read! With the mind of a scholar and the heart of a friend, Josh Butler reveals...
Short Excerpt Teaser
1
Sex as Salvation
I used to look to sex for salvation. I wanted it to liberate me from loneliness, to find freedom in the arms of another. But the search failed. My college sweetheart dumped me. I found a rebound to feel better about myself-and hurt her in the process. I then fell head over heels for the "girl of my dreams" (at the time) and spent the next five years pining after this friend who didn't feel the same.
I wanted to feel wanted, yet wound up alone.
Our culture looks to sex for salvation too. We want romance to free us from solitary confinement, to deliver us into a welcome embrace. "A nobody can become a somebody," the myth goes, "if you just find the right person." Yet the search often leads to sadness. The lover lets you down. The rapturous embrace starts to suffocate. The emotional high crashes and burns.
Idolizing sex results in slavery. You can chart up your long list of ex-lovers and join Taylor Swift in telling the newest applicant, "I've got a blank space, baby, and I'll write your name." You can find yourself in the Egypt of a new romantic wasteland, more cynical and isolated than when you first began. Yet I've discovered a crucial corrective in the gospel that can lead us out into true freedom . . .
Sex wasn't designed to be your salvation but to point you to the One who is.
Union with Christ
Sex is an icon of Christ and the church. In Ephesians 5, a "hall of fame" marriage passage, the apostle Paul proclaims:
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Now, the context here is marriage. "Leave and cleave" is marriage language (we'll look at this in a future chapter), and the surrounding verses are all about husbands and wives, not hook-up culture. Yet that second part, about the two becoming one flesh, is consummation language that refers to the union of husband and wife.
Paul says both are about Christ and the church.
This should be shocking! It's not only the giving of your vows at the altar but what happens in the honeymoon suite after that speaks to the life you were made for with God. A husband and wife's life of faithful love is designed to point to greater things, but so is their sexual union! We'll get to marriage soon enough in this book, but let's start with this gospel bombshell: Sex is an icon of salvation.
How? I'd suggest the language of generosity and hospitality can help us out.
Generosity and Hospitality
Generosity and hospitality are both embodied in the sexual act. Think about it. Generosity involves giving extravagantly to someone. You give the best you've got to give, lavishly pouring out your time, energy, or money. At a deeper level, generosity is a giving of not just your resources but your very self. And what deeper form of self-giving is there than sexual union where, particularly for the husband, he pours out his very presence not only upon but within his wife?
Hospitality, on the other hand, involves receiving the life of the other. You prepare a space for the guest to enter your home, welcoming them warmly into your circle of intimacy, to share your dwelling place with you. Here again, what deeper form of hospitality is there than sexual union where, particularly for the wife, she welcomes her husband into the sanctuary of her very self?
Giving and receiving are at the heart of sex.
Now, obviously, a man and woman both give to each other and receive from each other in the sexual act. Sex is mutual self-giving. Yet, on closer inspection, there is a distinction between the male and female sides of the equation.
The Bible makes this distinction explicit. The most frequent Hebrew phrase for sex is, literally, "he went into her" (wayyabo eleha). Translations often soften this for modern ears, saying he "made love to her," or they "slept together." But the Bible is less prudish than we are, using more graphic language to describe what happens in the honeymoon tent.
One Sunday morning, I learned how graphic this langua...
Sex as Salvation
I used to look to sex for salvation. I wanted it to liberate me from loneliness, to find freedom in the arms of another. But the search failed. My college sweetheart dumped me. I found a rebound to feel better about myself-and hurt her in the process. I then fell head over heels for the "girl of my dreams" (at the time) and spent the next five years pining after this friend who didn't feel the same.
I wanted to feel wanted, yet wound up alone.
Our culture looks to sex for salvation too. We want romance to free us from solitary confinement, to deliver us into a welcome embrace. "A nobody can become a somebody," the myth goes, "if you just find the right person." Yet the search often leads to sadness. The lover lets you down. The rapturous embrace starts to suffocate. The emotional high crashes and burns.
Idolizing sex results in slavery. You can chart up your long list of ex-lovers and join Taylor Swift in telling the newest applicant, "I've got a blank space, baby, and I'll write your name." You can find yourself in the Egypt of a new romantic wasteland, more cynical and isolated than when you first began. Yet I've discovered a crucial corrective in the gospel that can lead us out into true freedom . . .
Sex wasn't designed to be your salvation but to point you to the One who is.
Union with Christ
Sex is an icon of Christ and the church. In Ephesians 5, a "hall of fame" marriage passage, the apostle Paul proclaims:
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Now, the context here is marriage. "Leave and cleave" is marriage language (we'll look at this in a future chapter), and the surrounding verses are all about husbands and wives, not hook-up culture. Yet that second part, about the two becoming one flesh, is consummation language that refers to the union of husband and wife.
Paul says both are about Christ and the church.
This should be shocking! It's not only the giving of your vows at the altar but what happens in the honeymoon suite after that speaks to the life you were made for with God. A husband and wife's life of faithful love is designed to point to greater things, but so is their sexual union! We'll get to marriage soon enough in this book, but let's start with this gospel bombshell: Sex is an icon of salvation.
How? I'd suggest the language of generosity and hospitality can help us out.
Generosity and Hospitality
Generosity and hospitality are both embodied in the sexual act. Think about it. Generosity involves giving extravagantly to someone. You give the best you've got to give, lavishly pouring out your time, energy, or money. At a deeper level, generosity is a giving of not just your resources but your very self. And what deeper form of self-giving is there than sexual union where, particularly for the husband, he pours out his very presence not only upon but within his wife?
Hospitality, on the other hand, involves receiving the life of the other. You prepare a space for the guest to enter your home, welcoming them warmly into your circle of intimacy, to share your dwelling place with you. Here again, what deeper form of hospitality is there than sexual union where, particularly for the wife, she welcomes her husband into the sanctuary of her very self?
Giving and receiving are at the heart of sex.
Now, obviously, a man and woman both give to each other and receive from each other in the sexual act. Sex is mutual self-giving. Yet, on closer inspection, there is a distinction between the male and female sides of the equation.
The Bible makes this distinction explicit. The most frequent Hebrew phrase for sex is, literally, "he went into her" (wayyabo eleha). Translations often soften this for modern ears, saying he "made love to her," or they "slept together." But the Bible is less prudish than we are, using more graphic language to describe what happens in the honeymoon tent.
One Sunday morning, I learned how graphic this langua...
