How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

The author gives a lot of insights about behaviours and attitudes. I found it a great book to read and help yourself to grow and understand in which kind of relationship you are.

I have found some really useful stuff in this book, lots of food for thought, lots of great quotes, lots of truth. My biggest bug bear with this book is how gendered it is- unnecessarily so, lots of attaching negative stereotypes to genders which gets really tiresome and feels totally avoidable. Also very heteronormative (coming from a hetero cis gen person) I suppose it being published in 2002 has a lot to do with it but it jarred. If you can get over that then I would reccommend. Deffo worth a read.

This has changed my life for the better! I read it many times and highlighted so many helpful passages. I can’t tell you how many people also tell me this book is the book that made the difference in their healing and growth, but individually and in their relationships. You will not be disappointed! I also highly recommend the audiobook of this.

David Richo is brilliant - your best undiscovered assistant in the transformational soul centric journey to authentic adulthood from wounded stumbling around child trying to be an adult in relationships, work, and community - who's trying really hard to get love, give love, and live in peace and joy all over your life. This book is the missing manual for how to become an allowing, no reactive, self responsible, self loving, other loving, kind, understanding and empowered being to stand fully in attending, appreciating, accepting, allowing and loving all of you and all of everyone else too! His writing is not filled with technical lingo or hard to relate to case studies, but feels very personal and alive because you know he is doing and has done this work himself. It doesn't matter if you are wanting to have a satisfying love partnership, be a loving and successful parent, collaborate in successful co creative partnerships in your work, or have an empowered relationship with God/Spirit/Life/Goddess - this book will give you concrete understanding of what is getting in the way and concrete practices to restart your _ WHO I AM and HOW AM I BEING - journey with effective tools. Richo's goal in all of his writing is integrating unrecognized and unowned shadow parts of yourself, getting to know all the parts/voices/beliefs that are sabotaging you, understanding and grieving for the holes that your not so perfect parents and early teachers and early relationships left you with - without stirring up blame and hatred but rather loving for them and for you. Instead we become friends with all of the repugnant, ugly, not working so good part of us and discover what their gifts are to us. Thus we come to understand that actually all we yearn for - is possible first and foremost by taking responsible to lovingly and kindly give it to ourselves. David Richo is gifted in bringing together the wisdom of transpersonal and developmental psychology with the loving path of mindfulness, radical honesty and compassion practice and what it leads to is a healing of egocentric intimacy phobic relational practices and introverted codependent styles of relationing - both in the end strategies for healing the wounds within and getting the unconditional love, attention, acceptance, allowance, affection and appreciation we all need to be WHOLE and feel confident to share our gifts with the world and others. By learning to mirror ourselves and others and finally get that humans will sometimes be brilliant, loving, understanding, forgiving, giving and appreciative - they will also betray us, not come through, misunderstand and misattribute our intentions, be hurtful and mean. The practice is not making it personal to others or about ourselves - rather embrace our humanity and clean up the messes inside that get in the way of consistent empowering methods of relating...

Still in the beginning of the book, but just love it so far. It's already worth the money spent, which is why I feel comfortable giving it a premature review. First, I'll comment on the seller, RRP Books, as I bought a used book. I found the seller's description of the book condition to be very accurate and would trust buying used books from them again. My book is in like new condition and was reasonably priced. About David Richo... I see several people posted negative reviews and can't help but wonder if at least a few of them completely missed the mark of what the author is getting at in principle. This is not a save your relationship book at all... it is about using mindfulness to be a better partner in a relationship and also find more peace within yourself and your relationships with others... and one could extend these same principles to all interpersonal relationships, not just the romantic ones. I totally get and appreciate what the author is saying and find it immensely helpful. Also, I love that he's incorporating western psyche (Jung and others) and eastern mindfulness and detachment of ego. In essence we need to have a healthy Self and then let go of the egocentric part that sometimes induces fear-based and anxiety-driven thinking / action and impedes healthy relating and being. The author advocates loving through giving our partners (and I would say anybody we love) attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. This is a very healthy way of being, and by the way... if you are doing these things and are in a struggling relationship, you might be able to save it by becoming a better partner -that presupposes, of course, that the relationship is worth saving in that your partner is suitable and also willing to work on being a giving healthy partner who respects you. Equally, if you have to let go of a relationship, applying the principles and practices in this book could help you do so with less pain by realizing what is good and healthy for you and accepting yourself and your partner for who you are as individuals even if you can't make it together as a couple. My own two cents... in my opinion, a lot of people in this world focus on giving their partner attention, appreciation, and affection early on in a relationship... but if these things dwindle later on they often give way to projected fears that the relationship has changed or one partner is not giving their all, or may be cheating, etc. etc. Really, though, how many people give their partner complete acceptance and allow them to be who they are as they are in the present moment without focusing too much on delving into the past or fearful projection about the future? Sometimes, though, a relationship isn't right for us. By practicing mindfulness we can see when a relationship is healthy, needs work, or needs to be let go of for ou...