My Dearest Darkest: Sapphic Horror

Yay! A Sapphic Horror story that genuinely scared me! This book has such a clever premise and is creepy throughout, with its dark academia vibes and sinister deals made with the monster lurking in the tunnels under the school. I loved the cast of characters, the diversity rep, and the mental health discussions that are had in this book(instead of just glossing over trauma, depression, or anxiety--it's addressed). Well done, Kayla Cottingham!

This book is absolutely bonkers but really well done. We meet Finch who wants to attend this ultra exclusive arts school and the night of her audition her family gets into a terrible car accident, they all die except something brings Finch back to life. She gets into the school and gets wrapped up in a whole lot of supernatural craziness. She remeets Selena and Kyra (along with their other two roommates). She discovers what she thinks is a spirit underneath the school and pulls it free of its void while the others girls watch it happen. This makes them all somehow connected to this spirit (Nerosi). Nerosi begins asking for things in exchange for granting them favors (beauty, good grades, etc). She does this to build her own power. Meanwhile, Nerosi is the thing that caused Finch's accident and brought her back to life. So they are connected in a way the others aren't. Finch and Selena start investigating and realize Nerosi is tied to the mysterious disappearance of a band (all teens) who had shockingly similar experiences with Nerosi (we never get full confirmation as to what happened to Victor, but I suspect he banished Nerosi in the way he could and died in the process). Kyra has basically become Nerosi's pawn and is doing all sorts of evil crap to help her. Selena, Finch and the other girls have to stop them and they trap them in the tunnels beneath school while Finch tears open a portal of sorts to banish Nerosi (and Kyra). She succeeds. The story is the right level of spooky mixed with mystery mixed with crazy. We learn Nerosi is a God and has done this stuff to MANY people in the past. Just a fun read!

I have so many good things to say about this debut novel. I read the book in one day — I couldn’t put it down. I’m not all that good at constructive reviews, but this has been the first book I’ve been able to get into for a long time, and I have no regrets. The pacing is steady from beginning to end, and the first chapter hooks you immediately, leaving you craving more. I found myself caring about all of the characters, even the obvious side characters. They were all so well rounded and rich with personality. The book is wild from start to finish, and I’m over the moon with the subtle references towards things I hold near and dear to my heart (Mass Effect & Studio Ghibli). I absolutely adore the gore / cult / eldritch god atmosphere so much. The villain gave me The Ritual meets Calcifer from Howl’s Moving Castle vibes. Setting the school in Maine was also genius — as the ancient feel of the towns up there set the tone so well for a book like this. The gore wasn’t over the top, but written well enough to give me the heebies. I loved it so much. The representation is beautiful and so subtle, which I loved. It made it feel more realistic and just…natural. As a queer person, the main romance being sapphic (and one of them being bisexual to boot) made me so happy because it captures the struggles of teens figuring out their sexuality so well. It was also a breathe of fresh air seeing lgbt rep in both passing and as a main focus. I usually don’t like books that aren’t a part of a series because it’s difficult to pull off telling a story in one book in my opinion, but My Dearest Darkest pulled that off beautifully. It was so well written and though I was sad when I read the last page because it was over, I felt so fulfilled and happy with how it ended. All in all, I truly recommend it! Exceeded my expectations and I’ll be keeping my eye out for other books Kayla writes! Definitely something I’ll be recommending to others (I’ve already got my sister dying to read it). Thank you for sharing Finch, Selena, and their story with us!