The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

This book was written in 1992. Some may find that the book has too strong of gender roles or that it may have a sexist approach. Although this book only mentions heterosexual couples, any couple could take the advice on this book and apply it to their relationship. I found this book to be very helpful. Although most of the example couples mentioned in the book were in a housewife & working husband dynamic, this did not change the message that the author tried to convey. I found the examples easy to understand. The five love languages are; words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, & acts of service. Now, in all honesty, I'm sure more love languages exist out there, but I admire the way that the author made the love languages catchy and that he picked the most common love languages among us. Almost anyone will fit into one (or several) of these love languages. I recommend this book to anyone who wishes to strengthen their relationship or those who are single but wish to have a healthy & loving relationship in the future.

I didn’t really see any pictures of the hard cover when i was looking so I thought I’d post some. It’s beautiful! So glad I decided to get the hard cover!

This book seriously makes you understand your relationship better, on so many levels. If you are in any way in a marriage, or relationship and just feel like you LOVE them to death, but something is missing, or you just don't seem to see eye to eye anymore, or things just aren't "what they used to be", I think this book is very helpful. There's the bliss period in a relationship and in marriage where you are trying very hard to do things and make your significant other happy. Then after a while you find yourself worrying a little more about yourself (not in a selfish way, but you feel like your needs aren't on the top of his/her minds anymore). Then you find this book. It helps you understand your love language and more importantly, THEIRS! I found that I am a words of affirmation love language and my husband is acts of service. When I realized this (after we both took the online test to determine which we are), I then noticed that I speak my love language to him, in hopes that he will do it for me, and he does the same for me. We then needed to learn to speak each other language to better connect. I started doing more (acts of service), and he started speaking more words of affirmation for me. It really opens your eyes to something you never realized.

There is a quiz at the end if the book -- take it first, before you start reading. You will get a better, less biased assessment of your most important love languages. Otherwise, this is an incredibly useful book -- clear and wise. But I have two cautions: First, despite Dr. Chapman's belief that you can "learn" any language, if your partner's language is one that you value least, it's going to be a challenge to pick up on all the cues. If acts of service matter, for example, to your mate, and you are naturally helpful, incorporating acts of service into your relationship will be almost automatic. But if they have a very low meaning to you, it won't be automatic to do actual things that matter for your partner. It's not impossible, but it will be much harder. It's probably easier to communicate if you are on the same wavelength -- ie value some of the same things. Second, I think Dr. Chapman minimizes the damage that can be caused by attempting to reach out in "love languages" if you are in an emotionally abusive or manipulative relationship. Some relationships are not worth saving. Some people are just hurtful. Enabling bad behavior or sacrificing yourself in an effort to save a relationship through a love language is a serious risk that he either dismisses or even encourages. Chapter 12, Loving the Unlovely, particularly reads like blaming the victim and is highly unrealistic. Finally, all the love languages matter. One does probably matter most, but for a truly good relationship, you need some of each of them. But this book can help you become more loving to someone you care about.

I wish I would have read this book 20 years ago. It offers excellent information that can be put into action. No matter how long you've been married/together or the condition of your marriage, this book can help you both. It 's easy and interesting reading too. There is some reference to biblical passages but not overly so to sound "preachy." I mention this because over-reference to any doctrine is a turn-off to me. We now give the hardcover version of this book as wedding gifts to others... In terms of happiness building, it's better than a toaster or Instant Pot. I'll say it again... I wish I read this book 20 years ago.