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Tough Titties: On Living Your Best Life When You're the F-ing Worst
From award-winning TV writer Laura Belgray, a hilarious collection of full-body-cringe, watch-through-your-fingers life lessons her own husband calls "loser Sex and the City."
What does it take to grow up cool and popular, master adulthood, fast track your success, and always be your best? Laura Belgray wouldn't know.
Her wildly relatable coming-of-age stories include hate-following her 6th grade bully on social media decades later; moving home post-college to measure her self-worth in hookups with Upper West Side bartenders; dating a sociopathic man-baby; proving herself in the early ‘90s at New York's coolest magazine (as the world's worst intern); falling for get-rich-quick schemes on the Internet; and, most of all, saying "tough titties" to the supposed-to's in life: driving a car, being on time, handing in your paperwork, learning to roast a chicken, and having kids.
Peppered with cutting insights on our confusing, self-helpy culture that calls hair removal "self care" and tells us to give our 110% but also to give zero f*cks, Tough Titties will leave you feeling better about, well, everything. Let's face it: we're all tired of shame-spiraling after being told what to do when we know we're not going to do any of it.
Tough Titties is one big permission slip to be a dork, a sometimes-unspiritual slacker, a late bloomer and, ultimately, 100% yourself. It'll also have you snort-laughing in public and tapping whoever's nearby to say, "Lemme read you one more part!" Which is annoying, but tough titties.
"Nobody makes me laugh like Laura Belgray. She's got a one-of-a kind knack for taking the shame out of life's most humiliating moments. Tough Titties is a hilarious, must-read permission slip to be 100% you." - Marie Forleo, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Everything is Figureoutable
What does it take to grow up cool and popular, master adulthood, fast track your success, and always be your best? Laura Belgray wouldn't know.
Her wildly relatable coming-of-age stories include hate-following her 6th grade bully on social media decades later; moving home post-college to measure her self-worth in hookups with Upper West Side bartenders; dating a sociopathic man-baby; proving herself in the early ‘90s at New York's coolest magazine (as the world's worst intern); falling for get-rich-quick schemes on the Internet; and, most of all, saying "tough titties" to the supposed-to's in life: driving a car, being on time, handing in your paperwork, learning to roast a chicken, and having kids.
Peppered with cutting insights on our confusing, self-helpy culture that calls hair removal "self care" and tells us to give our 110% but also to give zero f*cks, Tough Titties will leave you feeling better about, well, everything. Let's face it: we're all tired of shame-spiraling after being told what to do when we know we're not going to do any of it.
Tough Titties is one big permission slip to be a dork, a sometimes-unspiritual slacker, a late bloomer and, ultimately, 100% yourself. It'll also have you snort-laughing in public and tapping whoever's nearby to say, "Lemme read you one more part!" Which is annoying, but tough titties.
"Nobody makes me laugh like Laura Belgray. She's got a one-of-a kind knack for taking the shame out of life's most humiliating moments. Tough Titties is a hilarious, must-read permission slip to be 100% you." - Marie Forleo, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Everything is Figureoutable
Editorial Reviews
"I loved Tough Titties and didn't want it to end! Through her insightful wit and sarcasm, Laura Belgray speaks to the late bloomers and slow starters in us all."―Kelly Ripa, New York Times bestselling author of Live Wire
"Nobody makes me laugh like Laura Belgray. She's got a one-of-a kind knack for taking the shame out of life's most humiliating moments. Tough Titties is a hilarious, must-read permission slip to be 100% you."
―Marie Forleo, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Everything is Figureoutable
"Where has Laura Belgray been all my life? Hilarious, eloquent, wise, she writes with delicious honesty about coming of age, falling in love, and finding meaning in these weird and chaotic times. I loved Tough Titties so much I want to press it in the hands of everyone I pass on the street!"―Joanna Rakoff, international bestselling author of My Salinger Year and A Fortunate Age
"I've been a fan of Laura Belgray's hilarious, tell-it-like-it-is writing for years. She was an early influence on my own craft, and I count her among my teachers. Laura's for anyone who keeps waking up disappointed to find they didn't become a different, more pulled-together person in their sleep."―Holly Whitaker, New York Times bestselling author of Quit Like a Woman
"If you're worried you're doing life wrong, Tough Titties will give you hope. It's proof that you can be a flaming mess, make questionable choices, have no plan, and turn out just fine. I laughed, I cringed, I nodded in recognition-on just about every page."―Emily McDowell, founder of Em & Friends
"Laura Belgray's voice is smart, shockingly honest, and laugh-out-loud funny. In these essays, you'll find that best friend who always makes you feel better, about everything."―Kimberly McCreight, New York Times bestselling author of Reconstructing Amelia and A Good Marriage
"Nobody makes me laugh like Laura Belgray. She's got a one-of-a kind knack for taking the shame out of life's most humiliating moments. Tough Titties is a hilarious, must-read permission slip to be 100% you."
―Marie Forleo, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Everything is Figureoutable
"Where has Laura Belgray been all my life? Hilarious, eloquent, wise, she writes with delicious honesty about coming of age, falling in love, and finding meaning in these weird and chaotic times. I loved Tough Titties so much I want to press it in the hands of everyone I pass on the street!"―Joanna Rakoff, international bestselling author of My Salinger Year and A Fortunate Age
"I've been a fan of Laura Belgray's hilarious, tell-it-like-it-is writing for years. She was an early influence on my own craft, and I count her among my teachers. Laura's for anyone who keeps waking up disappointed to find they didn't become a different, more pulled-together person in their sleep."―Holly Whitaker, New York Times bestselling author of Quit Like a Woman
"If you're worried you're doing life wrong, Tough Titties will give you hope. It's proof that you can be a flaming mess, make questionable choices, have no plan, and turn out just fine. I laughed, I cringed, I nodded in recognition-on just about every page."―Emily McDowell, founder of Em & Friends
"Laura Belgray's voice is smart, shockingly honest, and laugh-out-loud funny. In these essays, you'll find that best friend who always makes you feel better, about everything."―Kimberly McCreight, New York Times bestselling author of Reconstructing Amelia and A Good Marriage
Readers Top Reviews
CatherineKate
I regularly receive Laura's emails and, just it says on her website, they are, quite literally, the only emails I like to read anymore. Therefore, I couldn't have been more excited to get my hands on Tough Titties. If you're a fan of wit, dry humour, second-hand embarrassment, and just plain great writing, you'll love this book.
Andrea MAndrea M
For years, I've read Laura Belgray's fun emails and happily purchased several of her copywriting courses. I finished this book on a longer flight, and wanted to bother my fellow passengers/make in-flight friends to read them this line or that page. Laura tells stories with context and detail that makes it interesting and feels a bit like catching up with a gossipy friend who has the latest dirt on sordid affairs, local cult-like groups, obsessive friends, and where the cool kids are hanging out. It's an approachable, fun book for the late bloomer types. Solid message that you're not behind, and there is no timeline for doing things. The cover is awesome, very much aligned with Laura's brand and looks like it would be friends with Gabrielle Blair's recently published book with that 70's vibe!
ChazabelleAndrea
I pre ordered this book and anticipated it months in advance, like a 7 year old starts counting the sleeps until Santa in September. It didn’t disappoint. The honesty, the hilarity, the relatability. So refreshing in the post-Gary vee hustle world. I got a little anxious it was coming to an end when she met Steven, and then remembered (and was very grateful that) she’s a self described slow poke, and that there was plenty more gold to come. If you’ve ever felt late to the party, or just want the god damn truth about how life tends to go down, this is the book for you. When’s the next one out Laura?
JValJValChazabell
I FREAKING LOVE this book. Self-deprecating is not self-sabotaging in Laura's memoir. To look at one's life and write about memorable highs and lows but not hide behind them (or be a hater) is BRAVE. Her title alone hints at the honest humor she brings to her storytelling. It's a humorous storytelling of moments in early teens into adulthood. From the start the stories are both brave and engaging. It's easy to read and connect with, especially if you are of the best GeneraXon to-date. And the setting is New York, from the 70s to present. Cool in itself. You won't expect her quips to cause you to laugh so loud you'll bring attention to yourself. Consider this your warning: use caution when opening in public! On a flight my seat mate thought I was choking on snacks. I had to snort through an "I'm okay it's just this book" mime. So glad the title says it all. Okay, so she had a celebrated life in New York and born and raised with educated, wealthy parents. I didn't get to experience an iota of the same but still found myself in similar moments to hers. Growing up in the 80s was awkward for everyone so it was fun to be nostalgic for my own childhood and appreciate survival, from mean girls to cool shoes. She reminds us that at all levels of who you are as a person, regardless of upbringing, you may be disliked, sad in your own skin, or insecure about the shoes you're wearing. But if you're able to tell a good story, find a loving soulmate and celebrate life to the fullest, you must have "Tough Titties".
Lisa JValJValChaz
I loved Tough-Titties! Laura and I have a lot in common. I was born and raised in NJ and am still a Jersey girl at heart. Manhattan was our playground. Although I live in northwest, PA now, I still long for the good old days and reading this book took me back home. I am a writer, not as successful as Laura, but her book gives me hope. Although we are contemporaries she's inspired me that it's not too late to live my best life on my terms. And my wants are way simpler than hers - I don't need millions of dollars or care about fashion labels. Most people who have written a successful non-fiction are not truly relatable to the masses. (Regular people don't get nonfiction book deals.) And at some point in every memoir I find myself rolling my eyes at the self-centeredness and lack of awareness of the author. But Laura avoided that trap. Sure, some of the stories are a little over the top, but Laura fully admits that. She openly acknowledges and embraces her quirks and character flaws, in a laugh out loud funny way, and espouses the sea of self-help books (often not marketed as self-help books but rather inspiring memoirs with an undercurrent of "if I can do it, you can do it too.") That's not the tone of this book at all. Laura's message is more, "you do you" -whatever that is and no matter how old you are it's not too late to chase your dreams! Laura's writing is top-notch. It's witty, irreverent, and dry. She's honest, sometimes painful so. But I believe it's that honesty that makes her worth reading. When tackling your discomfort with someone else's word, you're really forced to examine your own. I always planned to read just one chapter, but had a hard time putting this back down. It was a good way to escape from my day and get some much needed humor and even, dare I say, inspiration.
