Science Fiction & Fantasy
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Once Upon a Tim (1)
Join New York Times bestselling author Stuart Gibbs in this first book in a hilarious, highly illustrated new middle grade series about a peasant boy who wants to be a knight, perfect for fans of Max & the Midknights.
Tim is just a peasant, but he dreams big. He wants more out of life than to grow up to be a woodsman like his father. Unfortunately, the only route to success in the kingdom of Wyld is to be born a prince. Still, Tim is determined. He is brave and clever and always tries to do the right thing-even though he rarely gets the credit for it.
Then news spreads that Princess Grace of the neighboring kingdom has been abducted by the evil Stinx and Prince Ruprecht needs a legion of knights to join him on his quest to rescue her. Tim finally has the lucky break he's been waiting for, the opportunity to change his station in life. And even though he doesn't know how to ride a horse or wield anything more deadly than a water bucket, he's going to do whatever it takes to make sure his dream becomes a reality.
Tim is just a peasant, but he dreams big. He wants more out of life than to grow up to be a woodsman like his father. Unfortunately, the only route to success in the kingdom of Wyld is to be born a prince. Still, Tim is determined. He is brave and clever and always tries to do the right thing-even though he rarely gets the credit for it.
Then news spreads that Princess Grace of the neighboring kingdom has been abducted by the evil Stinx and Prince Ruprecht needs a legion of knights to join him on his quest to rescue her. Tim finally has the lucky break he's been waiting for, the opportunity to change his station in life. And even though he doesn't know how to ride a horse or wield anything more deadly than a water bucket, he's going to do whatever it takes to make sure his dream becomes a reality.
Editorial Reviews
"A comic quest follows, with scares and laughs abundantly on offer...Tim's chatty, entertaining narration, which includes ample potty humor and the occasional vocabulary 'IQ booster,' also touches on lessons about stereotypes and unconscious bias throughout the chatty, madcap adventure." -- Publishers Weekly
"Gibbs peppers his prose with entertaining side comments as well as "IQ boosters," explaining terms such as malodorous, iconoclast, and infinitesimal, while maintaining the pace of the narrative. This giddy romp through a medieval setting, complete with menacing trolls and gigantic, bloodthirsty butterflies, is the start of a promising series from the author of Spy School (2012) and its sequels." -- Booklist
"Gibbs peppers his prose with entertaining side comments as well as "IQ boosters," explaining terms such as malodorous, iconoclast, and infinitesimal, while maintaining the pace of the narrative. This giddy romp through a medieval setting, complete with menacing trolls and gigantic, bloodthirsty butterflies, is the start of a promising series from the author of Spy School (2012) and its sequels." -- Booklist
Readers Top Reviews
Short Excerpt Teaser
Chapter One: Who I Am 
CHAPTER ONE 
Who I Am 
ONCE UPON A TIME…
There was a prince who was revered throughout the land for being exceptionally brave…
who was known far and wide for his cool and calm presence in the face of grave danger…
and who was beloved and adored by all the people of his kingdom.
This is not his story.
It's mine.
I'm Tim.
Come in a little closer so you can have a better look at me.
You know how, whenever you see a movie or read a story set in olden times, it's almost always about a dashing prince or a beautiful princess, and you're supposed to get all wrapped up in their troubles?
Well, there are lots of other people who aren't princes or princesses, and trust me: we have way more problems than the rich folks do.
We're called peasants. And being a peasant stinks.
To start with, we're all really, really poor.
See those clothes I'm wearing? Those are the only clothes I own. I've been wearing the same outfit for two years-and it was a hand-me-down from a cousin who wore it for two years before me.
All the princes and princesses live in castles with hundreds of rooms. I live in a hut.
See?
You might be thinking to yourself, Gosh, that's awfully small, but it looks pretty cozy.
Well, it's not. For example, look at the windows….
Oh, that's right. You can't. Because there aren't any windows. Peasants can't afford fancy stuff like glass. Which means that any animal that wants to get into your house can do it: flies, lice, raccoons, muskrats, wild boars, the occasional dragon…
While I'm on the subject, here are a few other things we don't have:
Air-conditioning.
Heaters.
Refrigerators.
Televisions.
Internet.
Bathrooms.
Yes, you heard that right. We don't have bathrooms. No showers. No sinks. No toilets. (All right, I'll admit, the princes and princesses don't have flush toilets either, but they at least have separate rooms to do their business and professional wipers to clean them afterward.)
But the worst part of being a peasant isn't really what we don't have.
It's what we can't do.
See, there's only one way to become a prince or princess: you're born into it. That's it. No one can apply for a job as a royal family member. If you're a peasant boy, like me, you basically have one option:
Peasant.
My parents are peasants. So were their parents. And their parents before them. And so on and so on and so on, going all the way back as far as anyone can remember. (Which, given that there aren't any history books readily available, is about seventy years.) There's nothing you can do about it.
Almost.
It turns out, there is one way a peasant can change his lot in life. It isn't easy, though. In fact, it's extremely dangerous. Ridiculously, terribly, insanely dangerous. But if you're smart, brave, confident, trustworthy, honest-and if you don't die in the process-then you might be able to pull it off.
I was willing to give it a shot.
Because, like I said, being a peasant stinks. (Okay, I'll admit, some people are content with peasantry. Like my parents. And all my uncles and aunts. And all my distant cousins. And most of my neighbors. But it just wasn't for me.)
So… this is the story of how I took that shot. And how it led to the greatest adventure of my young life-along with plenty of danger and peril and treachery and doom.
It's a good story, though. I promise. And there are some awesome pictures, too. So settle down, get cozy, maybe make a quick stop to use the bathroom (with your flush toilet, you lucky duck), and I'll tell it to you.
Right now.
CHAPTER ONE Who I Am ONCE UPON A TIME…
There was a prince who was revered throughout the land for being exceptionally brave…
who was known far and wide for his cool and calm presence in the face of grave danger…
and who was beloved and adored by all the people of his kingdom.
This is not his story.
It's mine.
I'm Tim.
Come in a little closer so you can have a better look at me.
You know how, whenever you see a movie or read a story set in olden times, it's almost always about a dashing prince or a beautiful princess, and you're supposed to get all wrapped up in their troubles?
Well, there are lots of other people who aren't princes or princesses, and trust me: we have way more problems than the rich folks do.
We're called peasants. And being a peasant stinks.
To start with, we're all really, really poor.
See those clothes I'm wearing? Those are the only clothes I own. I've been wearing the same outfit for two years-and it was a hand-me-down from a cousin who wore it for two years before me.
All the princes and princesses live in castles with hundreds of rooms. I live in a hut.
See?
You might be thinking to yourself, Gosh, that's awfully small, but it looks pretty cozy.
Well, it's not. For example, look at the windows….
Oh, that's right. You can't. Because there aren't any windows. Peasants can't afford fancy stuff like glass. Which means that any animal that wants to get into your house can do it: flies, lice, raccoons, muskrats, wild boars, the occasional dragon…
While I'm on the subject, here are a few other things we don't have:
Air-conditioning.
Heaters.
Refrigerators.
Televisions.
Internet.
Bathrooms.
Yes, you heard that right. We don't have bathrooms. No showers. No sinks. No toilets. (All right, I'll admit, the princes and princesses don't have flush toilets either, but they at least have separate rooms to do their business and professional wipers to clean them afterward.)
But the worst part of being a peasant isn't really what we don't have.
It's what we can't do.
See, there's only one way to become a prince or princess: you're born into it. That's it. No one can apply for a job as a royal family member. If you're a peasant boy, like me, you basically have one option:
Peasant.
My parents are peasants. So were their parents. And their parents before them. And so on and so on and so on, going all the way back as far as anyone can remember. (Which, given that there aren't any history books readily available, is about seventy years.) There's nothing you can do about it.
Almost.
It turns out, there is one way a peasant can change his lot in life. It isn't easy, though. In fact, it's extremely dangerous. Ridiculously, terribly, insanely dangerous. But if you're smart, brave, confident, trustworthy, honest-and if you don't die in the process-then you might be able to pull it off.
I was willing to give it a shot.
Because, like I said, being a peasant stinks. (Okay, I'll admit, some people are content with peasantry. Like my parents. And all my uncles and aunts. And all my distant cousins. And most of my neighbors. But it just wasn't for me.)
So… this is the story of how I took that shot. And how it led to the greatest adventure of my young life-along with plenty of danger and peril and treachery and doom.
It's a good story, though. I promise. And there are some awesome pictures, too. So settle down, get cozy, maybe make a quick stop to use the bathroom (with your flush toilet, you lucky duck), and I'll tell it to you.
Right now.
